You Only Live Once

Chapter Nineteen

Sebastian awoke early the next morning. Jamie was laying with her back to him, still peacefully sleeping. He carefully and quietly got out of the bed, threw on some sweatpants from his suitcase, grabbed his phone, and made his way out of the bedroom. After making a pot of coffee, Seb fixed himself a cup, and walked out to the back patio.

Chris looked up from reading his book on his lounge chair beside the pool. "Morning. It's good to see you," he smiled, then noticed Sebastian's somber look on his face. "What's wrong? I thought you'd be in heaven right now."

Seb looked over at Chris after hearing his voice, having not even seen him when he first walked outside. "I..." Sebastian let out a soft sigh. "I... I think I fucked up," he said in a low tone, taking a seat on one of the other chairs nearby.

"What do you mean?" Chris questioned. He put a bookmark in his book and sast it down beside him. "You have the girl of your dreams in your bed, how have you fucked up?"

"Last night, after... you know," Seb looked down at the cup in his hands, "We were laying there, still recovering, and... she told me she loves me."

Chris grinned broadly. "I was wondering when she was going to tell you. She told me on Thursday night. She'd just gotten off the phone with you and was missing you. I could see when it dawned on her and her whole face changed."

Seb remained quiet, thinking about last night. His mind drifted back to the moment she said the words aloud, and his response to them. "It's not that she said it..." Sebastian trailed off, and Chris could tell he wasn't holding something back.

"You... didn't say it back, did you?" Chris guessed. He stood from the lounge chair and walked over to Seb and sat beside him. "What happened? Did you panic?"

"No..." he finally lifted his eyes away from his hands, "Maybe a little. I don't know what happened." Sebastian sighed, trying to find the words to explain what was going on in his mind. "I like her, really. She is amazing in every way. Unlike anyone else I've ever been with. But..." he trailed off again, slumping forward once again.

Chris furrowed his brows. "You're scared."

"I wouldn't say it's fear, so much as..." Seb let out another heavy sigh, "We only met her a month ago, Chris. She and I have been dating for the same amount of time. And I was gone filming for one of those four weeks. I mean, love... love takes time to build." Sebastian was finally finding the words to express what was weighing his mind down, "I don't even know her parents' names, or if they are even still around. I don't know if she has any siblings, or her favorite... anything really. For christ sake, I don't even know when her birthday is. There's still so much to learn about each other. How can I call this love, if we barely know each other?" Sebastian finished, looking defeated.

"I get that," Chris nodded. "I do, and I think you'll find out all of those things sooner than you think. But I can also tell that your brain is in overdrive and your anxiety is telling you your thoughts. What is your heart telling you? Be honest. Because it's not always about time Sebastian."

Sebastian took a deep breath. "I think my heart is telling me that... that, I don't want to lose her. But I also can't bring myself to put a label on whatever this feeling is."

Chris sighed. "You are so damn stubborn for your own good. But it's up to you, it's your relationship. Just don't get upset at her if she acts disappointed or she comes to me to talk, alright? Because you two will need to work this out."

"I know, I know," Sebastian looked up at Chris, "I just hope she'll forgive me, and understand why I didn't say it to her last night."

"She will if you explain it to her," Chris said assuredly. "She really does love you. I've seen it in her eyes. She'll understand."