You Only Live Once

Chapter Thirty

Sebastian found himself wandering the streets of the small town they were staying in. The fresh air helped him to relax enough to get rid of some of the tension building inside him. As he walked, he found a small park. Finding a bench about halfway in, out of sight of the main roads, it was a nice quiet place for him to sit for a while.

Resting his elbows on his knees, he ran his hands roughly through his hair. What the fuck is wrong with me? I can't tell her that I love her, but I can get jealous enough when she talks to some other guy that I end up leaving bruises from holding onto her so tightly? "Fuck," he groaned aloud, sitting up on the bench and leaning back to look up at the sky through the trees. "Fuck me."

"You look like a man that's having troubles with a woman," a gruff voice spoke.

Seb lifted his head to see who was talking, seeing an older gentleman taking a seat on the bench next to him. He chuckled a little, "I suppose in a way you'd be right."

"I guess fresh air helps you think," the man shrugged. "It helped me too when I was young. I guess it still does," he chuckled. "What's on your mind, young man?"

"Oh... uhhh..." Seb thought for a minute. This guy was a complete stranger to him, how much did he really want to divulge with someone he didn't know. "Just some stupid jealousy I guess," he finally answered.

The older man chuckled. "Jealousy normally comes from caring and being protective."

"True," Seb agreed, "But I don't know that I have the right to be... Well, to be as protective as I acted." He shifted, so he was sitting up on the bench, looking ahead of him rather than at the man sitting beside him.

"Why on earth would you think that?" the man asked. "Every man has the right to feel protective over someone they care about." He looked over at Sebastian then sat back on the bench and rested his cane next to his leg. "I assume this happened because of another man?"

"Yeah..." Sebastian sighed heavily. "A, uh, a co-worker of mine. They were just talking, but his body language said more."

"How was your girl acting while he spoke to her?" the man asked next. "If you don't mind that I ask. There's no need to tell me if you don't wish to."

"Nervous," he admitted, "She'd never met the guy before, and he came on a bit strong."

"Maybe your reaction was warranted then," the man told him. "By the way you speak about her, she must be pretty important to you."

Sebastian turned and looked at the old man, "She is. She... Means the world to me. But... I mean..." his voice trailed off.

The man looked over at Sebastian again. "What's wrong?"

"I hurt her," he admitted quietly. "I... I had my arm around her waist, and... I held on too tight. So tight, that I... I left bruises on her." Seb leaned forward again, running his hands over his face. "I've only known her a couple of months, I have no right to... I don't know, claim her? I mean, we're dating, but I don't have a right to get as defensive as I did. I got so upset at the way he was acting, that I ended up hurting her because I couldn't control my own emotions." He turned to look at the man again, "Does that make any sense?"

"It does," the man said with a nod. "It sounds like you really care about this woman, but you're holding yourself back a lot on how you really feel about her. Does that make sense to you?" he asked in return.

"Yeah," Seb nodded, "You're not wrong."

"Now that we have that established," he smiled. "Why do you think you're doing that?" The man laughed then. "I sound like a shrink... I guess old habits die hard. I've been retired for years but it all comes back to me."