What if W(h)en

29부

Okay I'm sick and I know I need to rest but I just can't resist the urge to write rn. I'm sorry my child but this parent is a dumbass.

Here we go again. Like they have been doing the past month. Writing scriptures that are longer than the fucking bible. Hell these are just the reasons why there are rules in Gusu Lan. Who knows why they have such long ass rules. Probably because they have a mistake living with them but anyways. Instead of actually writing the rules, Wei Wuxian was straight up admiring Lan Wangji who was copying from a Buddhist scripture.

"Xian, if you're going to keep on staring at him, you'd end up burning a hole through him."

"He's so beautiful."

"What do you see in him anyways?"

Nie Huaisang chewed on his brush like a hungry ass motherfucker that pretends as if he didn't devour the whole table this morning.

"Personality."

"Uhm- Bitch where?"

"Other than those golden eyes that are probably worth $753 on the dark web and that resting bitch face he always wears, what else to do you see in him?"

"I don't like him, I'm just hooked in to be friends."

"Yeah sure, not like. You're obsessed!"

"I'm not! I just want to he his friend!"

Jin Zixuan looked at him in a judging way.

"You kiss me on my lips and we're friends, you think he'd be okay with that?"

"I mean maybe? Friends do that right?-"

"No they do not fuck each other like they are harlots. Xian, he'd fuck you to win every argument, not like is who'd get swayed with drugs-"

"I have more powdered bread at the dorm."

"Fuck you."

"Xian Dìdì, if you look at Lan Wangji, he's that type of animal in the wild who would only eat grass, do you want a friend who's a goat 24/7?"

"I mean it depends-"

"He's got no jams."

"He doesn't have the vibes."

"I swear to God you two will be the end of me."

Wei Wuxian sighed.

"I just want to be his friend because Xichen-ge told me! His little brother is a lost cost and his ass needs some friends."

"What you want us to do? Sit next to him and let our asscheeks collide?"

"Put Misery into CPR and that's our life right now."

"Fucking hell to the Gusu Lan, I bet they'd be that looser kid in school who secretly wants to shoot the whole class down."

"Nerds."

"Guys!"

"What?"

Jin Zixuan and Nie Huaisang looked at Wei Wuxian.

"Don't you also want to burn Gusu down?"

"I mean yeah sure."

"What's more to burning Gusu down if we don't have any Lan to join us. Bet Xichen-ge would even thank us."

"He'd be happier if old man Lans' head was on stick. Better if served on a silver platter!"

"Niáng would like that too but! For the soul purpose of turning this area into a mental hospital, we need an ally."