Everything is perfect until the end sequal to Nothing stays perfect for long

42~dreams

I woke up next to Dan. His arms wrapped protectively around my torso. My head was on his bare chest and my eyelashes flickered as I woke up. He chuckled and stroked my hair back. I smiled and lifted my head up to be above his. My feet touching his knees as I pushed myself up. He smiled and kissed me. Suddenly he pushed me towards him and I tried to be closer but there was no closer.

"I love you Jess." Dan said between kisses.

"I love you too Dan. Don't ever leave me. I love you so much." I replied

My eyes opened and I was in my room. Alone.

I darted up and ran out.

"Dan!" I called. Tears forming in my eyes, hoping this was a dream. I ran into the bathroom, the toilet, Joseph's room, Elsie's room, the nerd room. He wasn't anywhere. Tears started to run down my cheeks. I went to the living room and heard the TV. I smiled, wiped my tears away and burst into the room.

"Da-" I started. It wasn't Dan. Carrie and Chris were sitting on the couch watching the TV. I sighed and Carrie hugged me.

"Come on, let's put Harry Potter on." She said, guiding me to the couch. I sat in between Chris and Carrie. Carrie put a blanket round me and Chris gave me a giant box of maltesers. I put on a fake smile and cuddled into Carrie. I can't remember what Harry Potter it was. All I remember is how I felt.

I remembered my first night in this house. When I had run from Richard. The fear in my heart replaced by love and friendship. I remembered Harry Potter being on the TV. I was cuddled up to Phil and my legs were resting on Dan's legs. I remembered Phil going to bed and laying on Dan when he left. I remembered when I woke up to Dan scrolling on Tumblr. I remembered our laughs at the Phan accounts. I remembered how Dan let me pick any videos I wanted and I picked his first one. I remembered him cringing and then when I wouldn't let him turn it off he tickled me until I gave him back the laptop. I smiled into Carrie's shoulder sure that if I fell asleep right there and then I could bring them back. But that was impossible.

"I'm going back to bed guys." I told them. I hugged them both tight and went into the kitchen. I grabbed a glass and poured out some water, putting some ribina into it. I placed it in my room. I went to Elsie's room and got 6 pieces of paper and a black pen. I placed them in my room and then I went into the bathroom. I grabbed a bottle of pills and took them with me. I cried as I wrote the notes. Thinking about my life with Dan and Phil and all my friends from that night when I found out that I loved Dan to this moment.

That brings me to now.