All alone, or so it seemed (Justin Bieber)

6. "I don't want to cry."

No. No. NO. This can't be happening. My eyes are already turning watery as I look at him. I can't. I quickly look away, but with his thumb and index finger, he grabs my chin and makes me look at him.

''I said hello, Ashley darling. The polite thing to do is reply with a welcoming hello.''

I stay silent as I am forced to look at him. I will not do what he asks of me, will I?

Justin looks at us in surprise. ''Would you not speak to her like that, man.'' he says to Trent.

Trent slowly looks at Justin and then at me. ''So who's this guy, Ashley?''

''None of your business.'' I manage to spit out.

''Oh, I'll make it my business alright. WHO IS THIS GUY?'' he yells, and slaps my face. He loosens his grip on me for just a second, but I won't wait to see what happens. The moment his grips loosens, I run. As fast as I can. I run towards the door that's kept me safe from Trent and the outside world for two years. That door can save me. I can't deal with this right now. I have to get away.

As I arrive at the door, I quickly look back to see Justin talking to Trent. The tears are running down my face now. I don't want anyone to see me like this.

I run inside and make my way back to my apartment. When I walk into my apartment, I immediately start sobbing. I close the door with my back and slide down to the floor.

''This CAN'T BE HAPPENING!'' I scream through sobs. But nobody's here. My heart rate fastens and I start to hyperventilate.

No, no, no, no.

But all my body screams back at me is yes, yes, yes.

I try to stand up and walk to the sink to get some water, but the second I do, my legs start to shake and I fall down to the floor again. Fucking Trent, that fucking asshole. How dare he come back into my life. Everything he's done to me.... I can't relive it. No.

But the memories come flooding back, no matter how hard I try to push them away.

(FLASHBACK)

I'm back in high school, a 15 y/o girl with a dream. Trent walks by me. He laughs at me and then stops in his tracks. '

''Hello Ashley, DARLING.'' he spits out and smirks at me. Those evil eyes stare right into my eyes and I shiver. Trent scares me.

''H-h-hi.'' I stutter back. I try to continue walking - anything to get away from Trent. But he won't let me. His friends (or minions) start to circle around us as he pushes me to the ground.

''You're such a whore, you ugly rat.'' he smirks at me.

''But you shouldn't ask money to do filthy things.'' he says.

''WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?'' I yell.

''You know exactly what I'm talking about, you geek.'' he replies. ''Don't raise your voice at me, darling.''

But I don't. I don't know what he's talking about.

''You act as if you're mrs. I-always-stick-to-the-rules. But we all know you're secretly a slut, you pretend-nerd.''

Is he doing a contest of 'how many names can I put in one sentence?'.

''Leave me alone.'' I'm crying now. The tears are rolling down my face. My eyes are water falls by now. But I don't want to cry. I try to hide my face as I stand up. Trent walks towards me, threatening to hit me....

(END OF FLASHBACK)

I'm back to reality again, as I hear someone open the door. I realize I'm still on the ground, sobbing.

When Justin sees me, he rushes towards me and pulls me in his arms.

''Sssssh, it's okay, you're okay.'' He whispers in my ear, as he strokes my hair. ''You're okay.'' he repeats.

''Breathe, listen to my heart beat. We're okay. You're okay.''

I slowly breathe in. And out. And in. My heart rate slows down to normal as I stop crying.

''I'm so sorry.'' I apologize to Justin. ''I-I'm so so-'' I almost start crying again.

Justin looks at me and holds me tight. ''You don't have to apologize, Ash.'' he says.

I look at him gratefully and try to stand up. He stands up with me.

I'm so tired from the panic attack. My eyes are droopy and I yawn.

''Do you want to go to sleep?'' Justin asks, knowingly.

I hum in acceptance and walk towards my bed room. I lie down in my bed and look at Justin.

''Do you want me to stay here?'' he asks. I hum again and he sits down in a sofa-like chair in my bedroom. I look at him.

''If you want to, you can lay down, too. I-'' I awkwardly state. He just nods at me, with a small smile on his face, and walks towards the bed. He joins me on the bed and pulls me towards him.

I slowly fall asleep, surrounded by his warmth, tucked up in his arms, finally feeling safe again.

[a/n]

Hi. I know this is short, sorry about that. Don't worry, this story is not only gonna consist of panic attacks and depressing thoughts!! There's a lot of stuff happening in the first 20 chapters (I've planned these and written upto chapter 16 now), some of which are panicky/depressing, but there's gonna be happy parts too! And after chapter 20 I'm gonna make it more happy and less depressed. :)

Bare with me, please! It's gonna become better, I promise. I'm doing my best. I will update soon! Very soon!

x's and o's, Lisa