All alone, or so it seemed (Justin Bieber)

[Prologue]

It was just another one of those days. One of those days I didn't feel like doing anything. One of those days I felt like crying in bed. One of those days I wished I wasn't here. But I was.

I didn't feel like I belonged on earth. I was a nobody. I was a pathetic little loser. That is the way I saw myself anyways.

I'm an 18 y/o girl who lives in Florida, in the US. I don't know the purpose of life. Especially the purpose of mine. I had no one to talk to, except for my brother. My brother knew everything. He understood me as well. But he seemed to be doing alright. He had built himself a lovely life. He had a fiancé and he was successful at his job. I was the exact opposite. It's like he got all the good genes and I got the rubbish ones. I spent my time in my room, isolated. Why? Because I felt like I wouldn't be safe out there in the real world. I wasn't ready to face people again. I hadn't been for the last two years. My brother helped me, and he tried to persuade me to go out, but I just couldn't. Not after what happened on that dreadful saturday night.

I was on my way home from work - cleaning toilets, that is. I'd been an outsider for all my life. People picked on me at school, because I was weak. I let myself believe I deserved all the names they called me. But I could handle it. I could take care of myself. I stayed strong, because I had only one dream: moving to LA and living the good life. I wanted to become successful in the film industry and so I took on this horrible cleaning job to save up money.

But one fine saturday evening, everything changed. I called my mom to tell her I was on my way home but when she answered the phone, I knew something was wrong. She was on her way to pick me up because my grandmother was in hospital. But that wasn't all - I heard my mom yell through the phone, and in just seconds everything was done. My mom and dad were in a car accident. They died in the hospital, in the same room my grandma died in just hours before. I had lost my family. Only my brother and me were left. And we had nothing, except for the empty house our parents left us, and the money they had saved up.

When I got to school three weeks after, I was in a pretty bad shape. I hadn't taken care of myself at all, but I had to do one last exam before I could finally get out of the hell that is high school. I walked in and people just stared at me. Some of my class mates pointed at me or started whispering. And I knew why. I was the girl who looked like shit and lost her parents and who was weird. That was me. That is me. That will probably always be me.

But I wasn't ready for what happened next. It was as if the people at school thought I hadn't been through enough crap. They started laughing. LAUGHING! Some of them yelled that they were really sorry for my loss but then called me a bitch, geek or fat ass afterwards. It was horrifying. I ran out. Immediately. I ran out crying but nobody followed me out into the storm. I was all alone. I ran home and cried myself to sleep that same day. Because I didn't know what I had ever done wrong. And I wasn't sure of who I am. I didn't know if my dream was still MY dream. Because I wasn't the same person and I would never be. And I didn't know if things could ever change. But they eventually did, for the better.

This is my story.