All alone, or so it seemed (Justin Bieber)

26. "I solemnly swear that I will not interrupt."

Justin and I have had the best afternoon in the amusement park, going on rides, eating ice cream, laughing our heads off, and now we're sat on the grass at the side of the road, near a parking spot, where Justin's car is conveniently parked. I decide now's the time to ask him. It's now or never, right?

''Hey, Justin, can I ask you something?'' I hesitate.

''Sure you can, babe.'' he responds and looks at me, awaiting my question.

How do I start? And do I seem pushy if I ask him?

''Well, remember when you told Nat about the fight with Trent?''

He hums in response and looks at me, expectantly.

''Do you remember what she said?''

His eyebrows knit together for a bit, but his face soon relaxes, as he realises what I'm referring to. Apparently, it's not a big deal for him to talk about. But then his face falters and a hesitant expression takes over.

''Yeah.....'' he says, ''I've meant to talk to you about it, but I honestly forgot until you brought it up just now.''

I instantly regret asking him. ''I'm sorry - I don't want to push you or anything. You don't have to tell me what she meant by ''I thought you were done with that shit''. I'm just being nosy.''

''You remember exactly what Nat said?'' Justin's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and his face seems more relaxed again.

''I guess I do.'' I laugh.

''Okay, so, promise me you won't interrupt as I tell the story?'' Justin speaks up after a moment of silence.

''I solemnly swear that I will not interrupt.'' I say, as I place my right hand over my heart.

Justin laughs at my Harry Potter reference and then starts his story.

''Okay, so when I was younger, like 14 or 15, I started my rebellion phase. I used to get into a lot of trouble. Like, lots of fights, troubled-boy-gone-wild fights. I'd come home nearly every day with bruises, and this one time someone threatened to shoot me because I did some pretty bad stuff.''

I gasp and want to reply, but then remember that I promised not to interrupt so I nod and let him continue.

''Well, this one night, when I was like 17, I came to Natalie's house, after I'd been  fighting in an alley behind a club. Someone tried shooting me, but he didn't aim very well, so I got away safely. That night I had to tell Natalie about all of the fights and she got very angry and presented me a whole speech that she somehow made up right then and there. She was very worried about me, obviously. I was in a pretty bad state. It was because my personal situation wasn't the best. But I don't really wanna get into that now. I'll tell you about that some other time. Anyways, Natalie basically changed my perspective on everything and I soon realised how stupid I had been, fighting with people who had guns, basically gambling with my life, drinking way too much and occassionally getting high. I realised I had to change my life around, if I didn't wanna end up in the gutter. And so I did. I changed everything. I moved, apologised to most of the people I'd fought with - not the guy who tried to shoot me though, because I just really didn't want to give him the opportunity to possibly aim his gun at me again. I never saw him again, because I moved to a different region of the city and I've never stepped foot in a club again. When I go out now, it's usually to dinner or to a bar with friends, but I make sure to stay away from the bad places, because I don't wanna fall into bad habits.''

''Whoa.'' I reply.

''I'm not one hundred percent finished, one sec.'' he says, and I can see that he's trying to gain confidence to tell me the rest.

''There's one more thing you need to know, and you're not gonna like it.''

I nod and he continues, ''I used to treat girls badly. Like really badly. Not like hit them and stuff...'' the image of Trent appears to me, and I gulp loudly, before Justin continues, ''but I'd have numerous one night stands and never call the girl again. I'd lead them on and then leave them in the gutter, basically. No, wait, that's not literal, it's just a way of saying how bad I treated girls. I wouldn't be surprised if I knocked some girls up and they were afraid to confront me about it. Who knows. It's the thing I regret most. I was really fucked over once by this girl and ever since I treated every single one of them pretty badly because I basically thought that was appropriate. Like, I hated girls. I thought they were all heartless. But once the rebel-bad-boy phase was put to an end, I started treating girls normally again. I became more kind, I guess, when I realised how many people I'd hurt, trying to feel better myself.''

''Is that why you're always so careful and gentlemanly around me?'' I wonder out loud.

''It's partly why I do that, yeah. But mostly just because you're so amazing and I want to treat you right, because you don't deserve any less.''

At this point I start to understand everything. The pieces of the puzzle all suddenly seem to fall right into place. This is why Justin was so supportive of me from the beginning. He was trying to make amends with himself. He wanted to make up for all the girls he treated badly. That's why he didn't run away when I had panic attacks. That's why he's been so supportive.

A tear escapes my eye and Justin immediately frowns and pulls me closer, but I push him away.

''This is why you've been so supportive of me. You want to make right what you did wrong to all those girls. You never actually cared.''

''But I did. And I do. Sure,  I agreed with Nat to come meet you, maybe slightly because of that and because you're her sister-in-law, but the second I laid eyes on you, I knew I could never treat you badly, because you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and your personality is amazing and I cared for you immediately. That's why I stayed with you. I do care. And I always will. I will never ever hurt you, because you don't deserve to be treated any other than well. Please don't hate me for my past, Ashley. Please don't push me away. I'm sorry for the way you feel right now, but you don't have to feel this way. I promise I'm not that guy anymore. I swear. Please don't let my past define today. Define this. Define us.''

I wipe my tears and look at him.

''Us?"

He nods and smiles slyly and I mimick his smile.

"Justin, that's was the cheesiest speech, but I could never hate you for something you did in the past. I could never hate you for anything. I love you.'' I immediately cover my mouth with my hand after those words escaped my lips and Justin chuckles.

''What did you just say?'' Justin smiles.

''I- uh, I-'' I don't know what to say.

''I love you too, Ashley.''

And then.... Then he pulled me close and kissed me. After he pulled away, I hugged him tight and we stayed there, on a blanket on the grass beside the road, until the sun set, cuddling and sharing a kiss here and there, but mostly just enjoying each other's company and enjoying the beautiful sunset. Life was good. Nah... just kidding. I'm making it out to be a perfect setting. And I guess it was, in realistic terms. It wasn't romcom material though. But anyways... it was good. I had fun and Justin and I spent some quality time together and became closer. And still there was this tiny part of me that wanted to know... what happened to Justin? Why did he become the bad boy in his early teen years in the first place?