ADDICTED | j.p x oc

69

James did not let himself sleep that night, he didn't want to. He held El close to him, committing the feeling to memory. He spent hours with his eyes open, just laying there, his mind moving so fast he was surprised El couldn't hear it. He slipped out of bed just as the sun began to rise and placed a charm over the flat so that Eleanor could not open the windows or the front door. He took El's wand off the bedside table and placed it on top of the fridge—somewhere far out of her reach. He got a calming draught out from the cupboard, along with several bottles of various liquors.

Everything he was doing felt so wrong. Guilt pooled in his stomach, it almost made him feel ill. He poured himself a glass of whatever was closest to him, swallowed it in one, then returned to the bedroom. He crawled back into bed, being as quiet as he could to delay El waking up. He curled against her back, slotting her body into his.

James didn't know how long after that El woke up, her eyes slowly opened and she moved for the first time in hours, turning over and nestling into James' chest.

"Morning," she mumbled.

James turned his head so his cheek rested against her hair, his hands stroking up and down her spine. "Morning, love," he sighed, his stomach filled with dread.

El pulled herself out of his arms and stood up, putting on a jumper and pair of James' boxers. He watched her get dressed before getting dressed himself.

Regulus was already awake when El walked out to the lounge. He was sitting on the sofa, biting his nails as his leg bobbed up and down.

"Morning, Reg," El mumbled, rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she sat down, retrieving a cigarette from the pack of the table.

"El, i'm leaving today," Regulus stated bluntly.

El stopped trying to light her cigarette and looked straight at him. "To go where?"

"I—umm—have something that needs doing."

James had slowly walked out the bedroom and was now standing by the doorway, leaning against it.

"What is it?" El asked.

"I can't tell you that," Regulus was yet to look El in the eyes, he just continued to look down at his hands.

"Okay, well i'm coming with you," El said determinedly.

"No you're not," James said from behind her.

"Yes i am!"

Regulus cleared his throat awkwardly and rose to his feet, "Potter's right, El, you're not coming."

"Why not?!"

"Because it's dangerous!"

"Then why are you going?!" El stood as well, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Because it needs to be done. There's no point us both risking our lives."

"I—" Eleanor's voice broke as she tried to speak. "No, no, you're not going," her eyes began to water as she shook her head repeatedly. "You can't die. No, no, no. I'll go instead, just tell me where."

"No, El, you've done plenty to help this war—just let me do my part," he said sadly, adamantly maintaining his composure.

"I'm coming with you, let me just get my wand," she disappeared into the bedroom. Regulus looked at James as if to ask a silent question, James shook his head.

El walked out a moment later. "Where's my wand?"

"Love—" James began.

"James Potter where's my wand?!" her voice was getting louder as she got angrier. "You've got my fucking wand!"