Seventeen year old Safaya Bennett must navigate young adulthood under the stresses of her sins, her crumbling relationship with her twin sister, Rue, and a crippling mental disorder that makes her very dependent on her relationship with Nate Jacobs...
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Fezco's grandma was a mother fuckin G
She took him in when he was young and did everything in her power to give him the best life that a drug dealer could. His mother was gone, dad was a deadbeat creep, his grandma was all he had until Ashtray came along.
If there was one thing his Grandma taught him, it wasn't the drug game, it was that family would be the most important thing in your life. That value was reaffirmed when a baby was dropped off on their doorstep as collateral. Fez came home one day from school and saw a kid sitting in their hallway. He figured it was best not to ask questions since things around them tended to happen fast.
One of the other things that she taught him was that sometimes violence was the best solution to a pain in the ass problem. The same violence that landed him a curved scar on his head from getting hit with a crowbar. Those few months after were fuzzy and just when things seemed to be getting better, his grandma got sick.
The next thing he knew he had a business to run. And a little brother to take care of.
And however hard he thought life was, it got harder and more complicated. Cause the more you move up in the world the more enemies you make. He wondered how his grandma would deal with someone like Nate. But he didn't have his grandma. The shitty thing is, Nate was never Fez's problem. It's only because he had love for my sister that he became involved and brought all of her issues onto him. Nate was a certified pain in Fez's ass not only because of getting his house raided a couple months back but also the heated argument they had at the hospital while my sister was recovering from her miscarriage.
Fez and Ashtray had let too much disrespect slide and tonight that was all about to change.
If you thought you hated me before don't worry, I'm going to further disappoint you. Right now there is a clear difference between my sister and I. Sure, Saf and I are both addicts, and have OD'd, and have relationship issues, and keep fucking up everything. But one of us is trying to better their life and the other is perfectly fine with allowing shit to spiral out of control.
Considering the fact that I'm with Fez and Ash at a suppliers house, forced to get naked and prove I'm not wearing a wire, I think you can guess which one I am.
*play Dat Right There by Summer Walker*
"Bitch, where did you get all that ass from?" Maddy laughed.
She was staring at Saf through the floor length mirror in her room. My sister was admiring her Chrome Hearts jeans and how they flattered her body. She was beginning to feel normal after the miscarriage and looking at her stomach didn't make her fall into a fit of tears.
Saf began shaking her ass to the beat and laughed. She turned to face her friend as she continued to finish her makeup. "I don't know? Maybe it's recovery weight." She shrugged.
Sobriety and my sister were becoming best friends over the last two, almost three weeks. After she finished her withdrawal period in the hospital things seemed to be going in her favor. Drugs had heavily suppressed her appetite over the years and now since her system was clean, Saf loved to enjoy good food. Wether it was our moms cooking or takeout she ordered to the house, her relationship with food was becoming healthy again. My sister called it "Happy Weight" because it was the first time in a long time that she didn't depend on drugs to feel good. Her gaining a few pounds was evidence to her that she was heading in a healthier direction in her life.
Maddy finished her sharp eyeliner and got up from her vanity. She wrapped her arms around Saf's waist and gave her a little hug. "You know I'm like really proud of you, right?" She said, smiling at my sister. "I know these last few weeks haven't been easy but you're doing your best to stay sober and I love that for you."
"Thanks, Mads." Saf was stunned. The only other person who had really mentioned how well she was doing was our mom. I had been avoiding Saf as much as possible so I was barely ever home. "You know I'm ... I'm actually kind of nervous for tonight."
Maddy frowned. "Because of the alcohol? We don't have to go if it's too much for you."
"Bullshit, bitch." My sister giggled. "You're not missing the hottest party of the year and neither am I over some Tito's fuckin vodka." She took a seat on Maddy's bed, wiping the sweat building on her palms onto her jeans. "My therapist says that I have to forgive Nate and that's when I can fully begin to heal. I haven't seen him since we talked about ... it ... and I just don't know if I'm ready to forgive him."
Maddy sat next to her, throwing her long hair over her shoulders. "If you're not ready then you're not ready, Saf." She's shrugged. "There is no due date with healing. It's not a straight journey, there's twists and turns and bumpy roads. You know if anybody understands that, it's me." She playfully bumped her shoulder. "But, until then, let's have fun. We're young, bad ass bitches, and these are the moments where we can be wild and not face consequences."
It was hard for Saf to believe she could live without consequence. Too much had happened to her, to us, for that phrase to even hold weight in her mind. Everything had a consequence no matter if it happened on purpose or not.
"I brought my camera." Saf blurted, dying to change the subject. "It's film so it's different from my other one but um .. we can get some really cute pictures." She shrugged. "Lets take some before we go pick up Cassie?"
Maddy waved her hand. "Cass is driving with Lexi but Kat and Jules are driving with us. She just sent me some gas money." She wandered back to her vanity. Placing her headband through her hair, completely oblivious to the way my sister looked like a deer caught in headlights.
Saf had been dodging Jules at all costs. I think she felt guilty that she watched the entire tape of Jules and Cal Jacobs instead of shutting it off once she realized what it was. It was pretty apparent that Jules didn't know there was a camera in the room. Saf didn't know how she would be able to look Jules in the eye, especially since things were kind of rocky between them still. Nate still had a hold over Jules' nudes and could release them at any given moment that he didn't get what he wanted.
And God help us if Nate Jacobs didn't get what he wanted.
"Hey, have you talked to TJ?" Maddy asked. Snapping Saf out of her anxiety induced almost-breakdown. "You think he'll be there tonight?" She raised a brow.
Saf shook her head, applying gloss to her plump lips. "I talked to him earlier. He's in Aspen with his family for the holidays." She turned to Maddy and rolled her eyes playfully. "Do not try to set me up with him." She pointed at her friend. "I need to just focus on Saf and have my friends around me. TJ is just a friend."
My sister believed that nothing romantic could ever happen with TJ. Not because her self confidence was low but because she knew Nate was batshit crazy when it came to her. Even being friends with TJ after he caught Nate in the midst of abuse was putting a target on TJ's back. Saf already had a lot going on between Fezco and Nate due to her. The thing about Fez is that he could bitch Nate easily and had a few guns to help out if anything were to happen. TJ was just a normal guy.
