Seventeen year old Safaya Bennett must navigate young adulthood under the stresses of her sins, her crumbling relationship with her twin sister, Rue, and a crippling mental disorder that makes her very dependent on her relationship with Nate Jacobs...
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I had completely destroyed our home.
Ransacked it looking for the missing suitcase full of drugs that I thought I was slick in hiding. As soon as my mom said that Jules and Safaya told her everything, I just knew I was fucked.
"Fuck, what did you do, Mom?!"
Thats all I really remember screaming at her. I dug through my closet while she tried telling me everything was gonna be okay. She tried asking me who the suitcase belonged to and I ignored her. I was already in super deep shit. My mother tried her best, she really did, but I was too far gone. The panic quickly faded and manifested itself in anger.
She insisted we go to the hospital to get help for me. They had the necessary materials I needed to properly go through withdrawal. I told her that if she called the hospital and put me in, that we were going to have a fucking problem. She shook her head, telling me that I was out of control and that was the only thing that could help me right now. I snatched her phone. I shoved her as I asked her where she put my pills and I saw the look of fear in her eyes. She had never been scared of me until now.
I wasn't proud of what I was doing or what I will do.
She shoved me back, grabbing her phone and telling me she was calling the police on me. She screamed saying that I will not attack her in her own home and that she was not afraid of me. I stepped closer to her, watching as her lip trembled from the tears she wanted to shed.
"You're not a good person, Rue." My tired mother said.
I stared her down. Watching my gaze become too powerful for her as she didn't know what to expect from me. What she said could have broken me if I was in a different mental state. My lips curled into a cruel smile, seeing my twin sister peek her head out from her bedroom down the hall.
"You smilin'?" My mother questioned. "Really? You proud of that?"
I nodded slowly, gathering my words in my head. "You know what's a shame, Mom?" I inquired. "My dad's dead. Kinda keeps you from admitting what a shit fuckin' mother you are." I whispered. Tears rolling down her cheeks as that tough exterior cracked. But I wasn't done. I was out for blood. Against her and my sister. "Oh, poor Leslie. Her daughters are addicts, but, you know, their dad did die. I mean, fuck, do you even know what Safaya has been doing?" I looked past my mother and directly into the eyes of my twin. "Come out here. Since you have so much to say to Mom about my business. Tell her where you were the other night!"
Safaya stayed in the door frame of her room. I stormed past my mother and grabbed my sisters arm, dragging her into the hallway. She tried wiggling against my grip but I only tighten my grasp, making bruises on her arm. "Stop!" She yelled.
"Why? I'm just getting started." I laughed. "Since we all want to act like we're a normal family and talk about our feelings and shit...let's talk. Tell Mom where you went off too when she left." Safaya held her head down. Not wanting to make eye contact with our mother. "You're suddenly so quiet, huh? That's okay. I'll tell our dear mother that you were out with Nate Jacobs after we all specifically told you to stay away from him! But that's okay, it's not like he abused you, got you pregnant and then pretty much abandoned you when you lost the baby ... oh wait. I-I'm sorry that actually did happen--"
