Seventeen year old Safaya Bennett must navigate young adulthood under the stresses of her sins, her crumbling relationship with her twin sister, Rue, and a crippling mental disorder that makes her very dependent on her relationship with Nate Jacobs...
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Karma is always in the mother fucking air and best believe if it doesn't hit you, it'll hit someone close to you.
Fez was numb to the feeling of violence. He had been exposed to it for most of his life and participated only when necessary. It wasn't in his nature to be forgiving when he had been wronged, but revenge wasn't instant. It was calculated, you had to be smart when coming for someone's head.
"Yo, Fez said if you want a ride, now's the time." Ashtray said beside me. The look in his eyes was urgent, something was going on but I had no clue as to what. It felt like we had just gotten here an hour ago but then again I had just snorted oxy's with some kid named Elliot in the laundry room; plus I had a bit of heroin running through my system so I had like zero perception of time.
I nodded. "All right."
I know that there's no way he could have known about the awkward conversation I was having with Jules, but, Ashtray is a life saver. It seemed as if things between us were perpetually shattered since she came home after running away. To make matters worse I decided that tonight was the night I was going to tell the truth. Of course not the truth of me being high right now, but, the fact that Jules was the cause of my relapse.
Was it kind of fucked up to say? Probably, but, that's truly what happened. Being left on that train station as I watched her willingly leave me by myself was traumatic. The only way I could recover was to get high.
It was the only way I could recover from any loss in my life.
That's one of the qualities that Safaya and I share, using drugs and alcohol as a way to cope. It was the only way we ... I knew how. I had to give my sister credit in the fact that she was clean and would most likely stay clean. As long as nothing else traumatic happened to her.
But let's face it, trauma followed us anywhere we went.
My sister stood in the kitchen trying to dodge the abundance of alcohol bottles staring her down. She poured herself some cranberry juice in a solo cup and sipped on it slowly. Maddy had found herself dancing with some random guy named Travis and Cassie was still gone with McKay. My sister felt alone in this crowded house party and it gave her a hit of deja vu to Fall, when she was hanging out with Nate at his back to school bash.
Her therapist said it was normal to think of him a lot and that she shouldn't be ashamed. Especially when she didn't do anything wrong. Saf still beat herself up about it though. She thought it would be easier to forget him and it probably would have been if it weren't for the baby. People fail to realize that children, regardless if you birth them or not, bring about a flurry of emotions that you're not prepared to handle.
As if a seventeen year old could prepare to handle a miscarriage.
It was one minute until the new year was upon us. Saf figured the best way to get out of her head was to get into others' by taking pictures of us all. She captured sadness from Jules and I, regret from Kat, but the last photo she took sent chills down her spine. Cassie and Maddy were dancing together and while my sister thought she was capturing a fun moment, her flash showed that Nate was lurking in the shadows behind the two girls. His gaze was trained on my sister and it wasn't the same look of remorse from before. His jaw was locked, eyes dead inside, just staring menacingly.
