Seventeen year old Safaya Bennett must navigate young adulthood under the stresses of her sins, her crumbling relationship with her twin sister, Rue, and a crippling mental disorder that makes her very dependent on her relationship with Nate Jacobs...
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I had found myself slipping deeper and deeper into darkness and I know Saf could feel it happening.
"Aye, why you actin' like that shit was fun, Rue?" I had officially rambled too much and pissed Fez off even more than he already was. I didn't have to stand there naked in some white lady's dining room so I wasn't really understanding the severity of what had just happened. Also I was really fucking high. "For real. You pissin' me off. Actin' dumb as fuck right now. Goddam, all smilin' and laughin' and shit. You know half of that shit was yo fault too! Fuckin around and actin' stupid."
Now I guess I deserved to get cussed out like that but I was totally mindfucked that there was a ganster ass female kingpin in East Highland. I realize not everyone had the same enthusiasm as me but that was too bad. I thought it was pretty cool and clearly Fez didn't so I apologized. Maybe he'll forgive me by the end of the night?
I really hope so because he's my ride home.
*play Hypnotize by The Notorious B.I.G*
Saf held onto Maddy's hand while they walked up the driveway to the grand house hosting the New Years bash. Maddy was pulling her arm with a wide look in her eyes. "Come on, Saf. If I don't find a bathroom, I'm gonna spend New Years with a fucking UTI."
I saw the girls coming through the door and nearly screamed when Jules and Saf were in my view. Things were complicated with Jules as per usual but both of them were under the impression that I was sober.
If Saf took just one look at me I felt like she would know my secret. She was an addict ... there was nothing I could hide from her or lie about that she didn't already go through. Saf had enough on her plate dealing with the baby. I couldn't be another thing to stress her out. Because let's be real, I wasn't getting sober any time soon.
I had let so many people down by failing in my sobriety and I can't handle more disappointing looks. I just can't.
I hid in the kitchen, damn near Army crawling on the floor as I tried to escape through the sea of people crowded in this party. To say there was a lot of chaos happening would be a severe understatement.
While Saf and Maddy were clacking around the party in their heels in search of a bathroom, Lexi wasn't too far behind doing a search of her own. She saw the girls jogging down the narrow hallway when she stopped them. "Have you guys seen Cassie?" Lexi asked frantically. She knew Cassie was in a fragile state, even more fragile than before. The last thing she wanted was to hear her sister was missing.
"I thought she was with you?" Maddy said.
Lexi shook her head. "No, we like got into a screaming fight and she got out of the car in the middle of the road." She explained hurriedly.
Saf narrowed her eyes. "You let your sister get out of the car in the middle of the road? In the dark? By herself?" She inquired. No matter how many times we argued and will argue she couldn't imagine doing something like that to her sister. It's an evil world and too many unspeakable things could go wrong.
