Seventeen year old Safaya Bennett must navigate young adulthood under the stresses of her sins, her crumbling relationship with her twin sister, Rue, and a crippling mental disorder that makes her very dependent on her relationship with Nate Jacobs...
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Addiction and violence go hand in hand and not a lot of people understand that.
My sister looked to Nate for answers after seeing his reaction to the thong laying on his car floor. The tall boy climbed in his car, trying to remain calm in the midst of being caught. He just had to make sure Safaya didn't know exactly what he was caught for.
"What bitch have you been hooking up with while you've been telling Maddy you want to get back together with her?" Safaya asked, raising her voice as the silence kept growing. "You're just gonna ignore me?" She snapped her fingers in annoyance.
Nate sighed. "It was a one time thing. It happened New Years and I haven't seen her since." He lied. Knowing good and well that he and Cassie had been fucking for like a month now.
"Her who?" She asked. "Who was it?"
"Don't worry about it." He tried waving her off. Putting his car in drive and trying to hurry up and drop my sister off.
Safaya laughed. "Don't worry about it? You're kidding..." She turned her head to look at Nate while he drove, the street lights illuminating his hardened face. "Nate we used to be best friends, told each other everything, if it's no big deal why can't you tell me?"
"Because it's really none of your business, Saf." He snapped. "You don't get to shut me out when I needed you and then go and pull the best friend card. That's bullshit and you know it is."
*play Pretty When You Cry by Lana Del Rey*
Saf scrunched up her brows in confusion. "Needed me?" She asked in frustration, on the brink of spazzing until she took a moment to think. This was the first time in a long time that Nate was letting her in. That his real feelings were poking through his tough exterior. "It's not my fault we never talked about what happened. You just wanted to pretend like we didn't lose something. And so I let you live in that fantasy while I solved my problems here in reality with everyone else."
The tall boy was quiet, hands gripping the wheel as he tried to keep a straight face. "I'm not as heartless as you think. I feel pain and loss too just like everyone else does." He said quietly. "You know I didn't grow up in a way that told me sharing how I felt was acceptable. So yeah, maybe I did hook up with someone to try and patch a wound or some shit. But it didn't fucking work."
Nate pulled into our driveway in utter silence. My sister was still trying to wrap her mind around the idea that the miscarriage affected Nate in a way similar to her. She never would have known until he said something. Safaya was sensitive and even though Nate had broken her heart and spirit, she found a way to feel bad for him.
"I'm sorry." She began. "If anyone would have understood your agony it was me. I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't come to me and talk to me about the baby. But, random hookups and leaving thongs in your car isn't the answer to all of this." She turned to him, watching as he looked out the window in shame. "Look at me." She said softly. "I'm going to give you a chance to do the right thing. You're going to tell Maddy about that girl or I will."
Nate frowned. "Are you fucking serious--" He started.
"Yeah, I'm fucking serious, Nate." Safaya snapped. "Just because I'm sympathetic to you feeling bad doesn't mean I'm going to excuse the shit you did. Maddy is a sweet girl, she's not fucked up like us and you owe it to her to be honest. I'm not going to let you hurt her again. I'm just not." Safaya grabbed her belongings before climbing out of the car. "Her birthday is tomorrow so please don't fuck it up for her." She warned.
Nate rolled his eyes. "Or what?"
"Test me if you want to." Safaya smiled. "You will regret it."
And as Nate watched my sister step into our home, he felt a shiver down his spine as he came to a realization. Safaya was in complete control of him. He no longer had a hold on her and the closer she and Maddy became, the easier it would be for them to figure out he had been fucking with Cassie. And if Safaya found out the thong belonged to Cass, there is no telling what she would do.
As he thought of the blonde girl he reached for his phone, dialing her number in which she picked up on the second ring. "Hey." He said. "We have a big problem."
*play Champagne Poetry by Drake*
"There's no way you actually said that to him?" TJ held a punching bag to add resistance for Safaya.
My sister landed another punch to the tan bag. "I definitely did." She punched again before leaning over into TJ's view. "Maddy is a really special person to me even with all of our weird history. I'm not going to sit here and lie to her, so if he doesn't tell the truth then I will." She shrugged, landing another punch.
"And do you think he will?" The boy asked, taking a step back from the bag. They had been at the gym for an hour working on Safaya's footing. With each session they had, she proved herself more and more capable of defending herself. It brought TJ comfort especially since my sister had been hanging around Nate again.
"Nope." Saf answered. She landed one more punch before unwrapping her knuckles. "But I hope he proves me wrong. Tonight is Maddy's birthday party so I told him he better not do it now." She huffed, adjusting her curly hair in it's bun.
TJ handed my sister her water bottle. His brain kept thinking back to my sister's retelling of last night and how the girl Nate hooked up with was such a mystery. "Do you think it's someone you know?" He asked.
"Huh?" Safaya said, putting her sweatshirt back on over her sports bra.
The boy stepped closer. "The thong girl." He stated. "Do you think it's someone you know? Maybe that's why he was so defensive about it."
The pair headed for the exit of the gym, TJ grabbing the door for her as the warm East Highland air hit their sweaty skin. Safaya thought about the possibilities for a quick moment before shaking her head. "There's no way in hell." She denied. "All of our friends know what he did to us, they would never fuck with him."
"Yeah isn't that like a girl law or something?" TJ chimed in.
Safaya laughed. "Girl code, and yes." She corrected. "I wish I found out that Nate and one of my friends were fucking. I'd tear through them so fucking fast." She took another sip of her water. "You should come tonight!"
"To Maddy's? Are you sure?" He asked, apprehensive about the idea my sister was presenting. "Isn't Nate going to be there?"
Saf nodded. "Yeah." She rolled her eyes. "I think it would be fun if you joined us. You're always studying or with your brother and you never come out." She teased. "It's five now and her party starts at seven, if you hurry home and shower you could make it on time."
"So it sounds like I have no choice but to come, huh?" He laughed.
My sister smiled. "Exactly. You're coming to a party and you're gonna like it."
Thinking back on it, if Safaya knew what was going to happen and what she would do, she never would have invited him in the first place.
