Magic Island

chapter fourteen

March 7, 2018

It was raining heavily outside, Kai and his mother were driving to the psychiatrist for his appointment. They were told that the results had finally came in and they had to go to the office to see it for themselves.

"Ningning, I want you to listen to me, okay? No matter what happens, I'll always love you, alright?" His mother said as she squeezed his hand, eyes still on the road.

"Uh huh..."

All that could be heard was the rain hitting the window, the radio playing music, and his mom silently singing. It was peaceful, yet nerve wracking for the other. He was never prepared for a diagnosis and he never knew what it was like. He was just scared. Really scared.

After what seemed like hours, they had finally arrived at the psychiatrist office. They stepped out the car as Kai's mother opened up an umbrella, putting the both of them under it.

"Be sure to not get too wet, I don't want want you catching a cold!"

"Ok."

They walked inside the building and upon their arrival, they were directed towards a room. It was quiet and again, nerve wracking. It felt like the room was spinning and Kai felt like throwing up and just passing out right then and there. That was until the doctor walked in after what was only 2 minutes, which felt like 2 years.

"Ah, sorry for the wait. I had to collect all the papers." The doctor said with a bow as he walked in.

"That's alright!"

The doctor pulled a chair over to his computer, opening files and typing stuff out.

"Kai, I'm gonna ask you a few questions really quickly before I look through the papers alright?"

"Ok."

The doctor gave him a nod and soon turned back to his computer, scrolling through the files and typing more stuff out.

"To start things off, have you ever suddenly experienced a black out?"

"Sometimes, but I always thought it was from standing up too fast."

The sound of the keyboard was what filled the room before a few more questions.

"Have you ever experienced a flashback to something that was possibly traumatic to you?"

"No."

"Do you experience mood swings often?"

"According to the people around me, I do."

"Have you ever experienced amnesia?"

"Very often actually, it's hard for me to remember things that happen from only hours ago."

"Do you feel anxious around the people you're closest with?"

"Depends on the situation."

"Any suicidal thoughts?"

"Sometimes..."

"Have you ever thought of hurting yourself or others?"

There was silence after that. Kai was shaking and he looked at the floor in hopes of avoiding the question.

"Ningning?" His mother looked over at him with concern in her eyes.

"You don't have to answer the question if you're not comfor-"

"I have..I've thought of hurting other people multiple times. I almost carried out with it once, actually." Tears brimmed his eyes as he started shaking.

"If you don't mind me asking, who was it you thought of hurting?"

"My little sister, I wanted to kill Hiyyih..I-I don't know what's going on for me to think that type of stuff. I love her with all of my heart, and the fact that I even thought about killing her is scaring me. Every time I just think about what happened then makes me want to kill myself more and more.."

The doctor nodded and typed some more things on his computer before backing out.

"Alright, thank you. I'll be right back!" He said with a bow and walked out the room.

"Aren't you gonna yell at me?" Kai said as he looked up at his mother

"Huh?"

"Aren't you gonna yell at me for being some psychopath?"

"Now why would I do that?"

"I thought of killing your own daughter multiple times, isn't that something to yell at me about? You're probably gonna send me to some mental facility to never see my face again."

"I would never! Ningning, you're mentally ill, why do you think we're here? To get you the help you need. You'll get better soon, I promise. And yes, I am a little concerned. I mean- you wanted to kill your own sister! But I know you would never carry out with it, and we're going to help you feel better."

Kai nodded and looked at the ground as he kicked his feet. There was a knock at the door and the doctor soon walked back inside the room but this time with more papers in his hand. He handed one of them to Kai's mother as well as a pen.

"You don't have to sign it if you don't feel comfortable with your son doing this type of stuff, but I feel as if it would really help him due to his current situation."

"If you don't mind me asking, what would the psychotherapy be helpful for?"

"Your son has dissociative identity disorder."