Puzzle Pieces (Part 2-Final)

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TW: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE ATTEMPT.

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Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

My breathing is slow as I slowly come to and try to orient myself to my surroundings. I see white, and I know I must be in Heaven for real this time. I shift in my bed and I feel a pinprick in my arm.

My gaze snaps down, and there's a tube coming out of me there.

No.

No.

No.

No, this isn't Heaven. No. There's no pain in Heaven.

This is Hell.

No. No. I'm not evil. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve to be punished for being hopeless. I don't deserve to be tormented for eternity.

My breathing speeds up in time with my heart, and my fists grip the bed tight enough to make my knuckles white.

I feel like I'm suffocating. I can't breathe. I can't think. All I can do is whimper and sniffle as tears streak down my face and fears run through my head.

I knew I was miserable, but I didn't know I could be reduced to this. I really am unworthy. I really am hopeless. If I wasn't, then I wouldn't be here, would I?

I'm crying now, the tears running down my cheeks in rapid streams as I try to deny what my brain is telling me to be true...

And then a small hand wraps around my forearm and a small "Hyunjin?" is mumbled, and my head whips to the side.

And there he is.

In all his freckled, beautiful, precious, adorable glory.

He's looking at me with worry heavy on his features, along with what looks like exhaustion and sadness.

"Jin, it's okay."

Oh no.

This can't be happening. I brought him with me. NO. I cannot see him here. He deserves a life, and he deserves peace at death. I can't have brought him into my torment.

My tears start anew as I shoot my hands up to lock onto his wrists. Before they were panicked tears, now they are from sheer despair.

"Hyunjin, please, calm down. You're alright, everything's okay."

I cannot have dragged him with me.

His hands quickly make their way into my hair, and suddenly we are face to face, only inches away.

"Jinnie," he says softly, stroking my hair and twirling it between his fingers. "Calm down, baby, please. You're okay now, I promise."

"No L-Lix, I you d-don't understand," I sob. "I can't have b-b-brought you here with me!"

Confusion passes over his face.

"Jin, I brought you here."

No, I won't let him blame himself for this. That stopped when we broke up. I'll take responsibility for my own doings.

"H-how could you have p-possibly brought me here? You're an a-angel, Felix. They wouldn't even have let y-you in the d-d-doors. Don't lie to m-make me feel b-better."

His expression softens as he continues to look at me, sniffling and whimpering in front of him. The hands slip out of my hair, and Felix braces himself on the side of the bed as he scoots in next to me.

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