Love is Everything to Me (Hyunlix Oneshots)

Maybe You'd Be Happier

This one shot is inspired by the song GHOST TOWN by Benson Boone.

If you want to get a feel for the vibe of this I would recommend listening to that song.

Slight TWs: angst, self-doubt, and self-blaming.

Enjoy!

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The blonde boy sat in the corner with his legs pulled into his chest, silent tears streaming down his cheeks in the silent loneliness. He banged his head on his knees, thinking it over and blaming himself for every detail he could remember.

How he'd been overly excited to share his news, not thinking at all about Hyunjin. He'd planned it all out too, even Hyunjin's responses, down to the letter.

How he'd been so quick to anger, so quick to offend, without giving Hyunjin a second to breathe and collect himself.

How he'd read the signs in his form, the look in his eyes, without giving Hyunjin a chance to explain and had just snapped at him like that.

How could he do that?

Felix wasn't a confrontational person. Staying in the background was where he felt safe. Agreeing even if his opinions differed was his specialty. It was much nicer to sit and listen and agree than to get into a fight. But that's what he'd done this morning.

Interrupting a tired man in the shower was bad enough, but to throw this news at him like it was nothing, like this didn't require a longer conversation, that was just stupid.

He thought he knew how Hyunjin was going to react. Hyunjin was always so calming, so open, so sweet, Felix had never considered that maybe they wouldn't always see perfectly eye to eye on things. Which was fine, of course. People are allowed to have different opinions.

Just...both parties have to recognize that the other's is valid. And Felix hadn't done that this morning. He'd just blown up and tuned out, not allowing for any discussion before the older had to leave for work, leaving Felix behind to cool down and start to regret his actions for the rest of the day.

He remembered the look in Hyunjin's eyes when the words left his mouth. The look of disbelief and fear on the older blonde's face made his heart sink to the floor. That wasn't something he'd ever expected from this situation.

In the moment, he'd panicked completely. Felix didn't know what to say. Hyunjin didn't know what to say. And so they stood in silence for a minute or two, Felix watching to see any hint of joy cross his features, and Hyunjin panting lightly, probably waiting for Felix to break into laughter and tell him it was a joke.

It wasn't. It certainly wasn't a joke. And Felix hated that he couldn't give Hyunjin what he wanted. He'd always been able to cater to the man perfectly. But this, there was no changing this, because Felix wanted it. He'd wanted this for both of them for so long, and now, when he finally got it, Hyunjin didn't want it anymore.

Hyunjin stomped out of the house and didn't answer a single one of Felix's calls all day because he wanted this so little. He got upset and terrified and even maintained a fight with the younger, who on countless occasions he'd said he could never fight with, because he didn't want this like Felix did.

That thought absolutely terrified Felix. It terrified him to the point where he couldn't move his legs, couldn't breathe, and could only sit in this corner with his raggedy breaths crying in fear and despair.

He didn't know what he would do if Hyunjin wouldn't accept this. Loving Hyunjin was like breathing to Felix. It was like the ground under his feet, the clothes on his back, the food in his belly. It was everything that made him, him.