DELINQUENT | C. SPRINGER

Drive In

Connie pulls his pants back up and you go ahead and remove your ripped tights off your body and toss them in the trash. They were only a couple dollars so you're not too upset about it, but that's the least of your worries.

After Connie pulled out of you, you realized just what you had done. Why is it just so easy to forgive him? He touches you and it's like you're no longer in control of yourself or how you feel.

"Want something to drink?" Connie goes to take hold of your hand but you pull it back. "What's wrong?"

You clench your jaw as you try to think about how to put into words how you feel right now. Pathetic is what comes to mind first.

"That was a mistake," you sigh. "It shouldn't have happened. I'm still mad and I still believe that this," you point between the two of you. "...will never work."

Connie narrows his eyes in confusion.

"So what the hell was that? You just using me for sex again?"

You scoff with total disbelief. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Sorry I didn't mean it like that," he rubs the side of his head. "I meant why did you have sex with me if you didn't want me?"

You stand up straighter. "I do want you, Connie. That's the problem. I shouldn't. I have self respect and I want to be able to go out on dates and hold hands in school without it being an issue. I deserve more. These two weeks caused a lot of tension to build up and in a moment of weakness, I forgot about everything. This isn't going to work, Connie."

"But..."

"I think we just need more time to realize that it's the idea of sneaking around with eachother that's exciting us both. It actually has nothing to do with who we are as people. The game is just fun," you make your way around the desk and for the door. "I shouldn't have allowed this to happen. If I can't get you off my mind in the next month, then I'll know the feelings were real. But I'm sure when the time is up, you won't even remember my name."

You open the door and rejoin the party, hoping no one realizes Connie and you were in there together. Not that it would matter. No one would believe it.

You feel guilty for having sex with him again, but it was an honest mistake. In the moment you thought you could just forget everything, but after it was done you remembered just how you really felt.

Just minutes prior, Connie was about to have sex with Izzy. He obviously wasn't too concerned about reconnecting with you. But since you caught him, he felt guilty. Everything about you two is a mess.

It's just not going to work out. And it's a waste of breath trying to make it work. So you just need to completely move on and if you can't, in a month you can revisit your feelings for him.

For now... it's over.

~

You try to find Sasha, wanting to go home, but she seems to be MIA. You find an empty seat on the couch in the living room and sit quietly as the party rages around you.

"This seems more like you," Colt comes and sits beside you with a red cup in his hand.

You laugh lightly. "It does, doesn't it? I want to stop pretending to be someone I'm not from now on."

"You don't need to be anyone else," Colt smiles softly. "You're perfect the way you are. Social awkwardness and all."

You give him a playful side-eye and shake your head. "From what I remember, you're not so good in social settings either. People just think you're hot so you get a free pass."