who am i to you?

2.2

TW: Homophobia. Bullying. Slurs. Violence

***

"Vasily, ikaw na."

Tumayo ako sa bench and went to Linda's side. "Who am I going to join?"

"The boys, of course. But if gusto mo sa girls sumama, welcome ka naman." She eyed me suspiciously, waiting for my answer.

I took a deep inhale. "I mean which boy's team," I corrected her.

She looked back down to her clipboard. "You can choose."

I went to the court and substituted one of my classmates. Our PE requires us to play volleyball. And with our teacher leaving us to have fun with ourselves and our class president doing everything, everyone is happy. Except me.

I don't know how to play volleyball and I'm sure my twig arms will turn red and violet when I receive a ball.

I don't want to play but I can't refuse since this is a performance task. I wished for my body being weak to be an actual reason I can skip PE but that's not possible.

Both sides of the boys' court don't want to take me in. But with David intimidating the other team, I joined the opposing team and went against David.

I know nothing about volleyball so I mostly just stood there. With my unmoving stature, I became a great target. If I'm not paying attention, the ball would come to me immediately and hit me somewhere. David and his guys from the other side of the court were snickering at me. So when I feel that the ball is coming to me, I'll step away.

"Sissy, volleyball yung laro. You have to hit the ball," said Alhona, my classmate, who's watching from the side court.

"Umalis ka na sa court kung iiwas ka lang sa bola," Manuel, who's beside me, grumbled.

I have the ball with me so I sighed, planning to throw it to the other side of the court and about to leave when Linda came. "Ang hindi maglaro walang grade." She pointed at her clipboard. "Just saying."

I stopped in my tracks, not knowing what to do.

"Just throw the ball here, Sissy!" Moises yelled from the other side of the court.

With no other choice left, I threw it to them. Brendan received the ball with his arms giving it to David. My classmates who are on my side prepared themselves when David set the ball for Tony. I looked at how Manuel stands, mimicking his form.

"Sissy!"

I got distracted. When I turned to look, a ball came flying down my face. The sound of the ball hitting my face was so crispy it's ideal for movie background sounds. Napaupo ako sa sahig, my face and buttocks numb.