who am i to you?

3.1

TW: Homophobia. Bullying. Slurs. Violence

***

"Do you like Shi?"

I physically flinched at his question. He caught me off guard. I stared at him, brows furrowed as I processed his question.

What does he mean?

My body stopped all movement at once. My heart picked up a pace, as if it got caught in a race. My ears started ringing. When I looked down, it's like I saw the image of my laptop in front of me, my classmate beside me as he scrolls down the history of my browser.

When I look at the guy, all of the things that I saw are gone and I'm back in the resto. I blinked as the lively sound around us came back.

I'm sure he means something else.

"Ah yeah. I like him." I forced a smile. "I did grew up with him like a brother."

Usually, even though I don't know him much, Santi would smile back when I talk to him. But he didn't this time.

I kinda wanna see that dimple again.

"I mean, do you have a crush on him?"

I looked down. So he does mean it that way. I'd probably give too much vibe that I have a thing when I look at boys. Will he get disgusted if I answer him honestly right now and would put distance between us?

But I just met him formally this time. I don't want another person looking at me that way.

"No." I smiled politely at him, shaking my head. I met his serious eyes. "Why would you think that? I'm not gay." I chuckled a bit at my last words.

He stared for a moment so I had to keep my façade. He sighed then looked away. "Sorry, it was a random question. Sorry to make you uncomfortable."

"It's fine." It's not.

"Anyway, you'll join practice this Saturday, right?" he casually changed the topic. "That is if you're not busy."

"I have time," I said with a smile. "If it's fine for me to join."

"I was the one who told Shi to invite you so it's fine." Finally, he gave me a genuine smile. "Can I have your contacts so I can tell you the information in the future?"

"Sure."

I took out my newly purchased phone that now has a new crack on its screen protector. I gave him my number.

"I only have Facebook so..." I chuckled a bit.