who am i to you?

7.1

When Shi transferred school, I tried to go after him. But it was hard with my lack of enthusiasm in reviewing and my inability to memorize scientific stuff. So, for the first year of high school, we were in different schools.

"Baka magbago ka na, ah," I jokingly told Shi.

He laughed, messing my hair. One thing he knows I hate so he still does it. I actually enjoy it when he's the one doing it. I just never told him.

"Why do you think so?"

I shrugged. "Baka makahanap ka na bagong friends."

"And what about you? What if you do the same?"

"Do you think I can?"

He laughed. "Right. You can't even approach a teacher without me."

His laugh subsided. I really want to record it and listen to it daily. He smiled at me reassuringly.

"Don't worry. We'll still be the same."

No, we didn't stay the same. 

He got distant. I still tried to transfer for eighth grade just so maybe we could reconcile. But I couldn't. And Mom couldn't do anything about it that time because she was busy and is still grieving on Dad's death. Ninth grade, I gave up. We weren't talking anymore. And I think I would just be a creep.

But right now, here we are. Like nothing happened. It's like when we were kids. We're going to the same school, meeting the same people though we're not classmates, but still schoolmates.

Am I happy about this? Absolutely.

But do I still feel the longing I've been having since before?

Haha. Yeah.

They say, it's your life that chooses you.

No, because I didn't audition for this. When did I audition for this gay role? I don't remember ever doing that. Of all the characters available, I landed with this role.

"Smile!"

I smiled at tita's phone camera. Shi, on the other hand, was grumpy about it so he got scolded again.

"Shi, matatapos 'to kaagad kung ngingiti ka nang ayos."

Shi rolled his eyes and released a sigh. He smiled, the kind that you know isn't genuine. I laughed at him, facing the camera again and smiling.

"Perfect!" Finally, tita stopped taking pictures. She went through the photos with a smile. "I'll send this to your Mom." She giggled on her phone, tapping on it.