who am i to you?

21.2

"I'm gonna transfer school."

"What?"

I looked away, afraid to tell him. I'm so afraid that it took this long until I finally told him. "I'll change schools again next month."

I can see him staring at me, unmoving. "You're transferring school?"

I nodded timidly. "Yes."

"You're kidding."

I clutched my drink's cup tighter. I wish I was. "Mom wants it."

Finally, confusion disappeared on his face. He now looks like something has been taken from him, anger and sadness in his eyes. "Why?"

"She doesn't want me to be in the band so this is her answer."

His lips parted on my answer. Slowly, he rested his back on his seat, eyeing me. "Why'd you just tell me today?"

"Well..." I trailed. "We can't really do anything about it. Mom has already made her mind up."

"But you could've told me earlier," he scolded me.

"Sorry."

He sighed, shaking his head. "Wala na talagang pag-asa?"

"My things are ready. I already have a uniform in my closet."

I saw his jaw clenching. "Shit. Pa'no na 'ko?"

"Ako ang pa'no ka na? I'm sure you can study well on your own."

"You know that's not what I mean."

My eyes went to his serious face. I slouched my shoulder, feeling small. "I know."

"Iiwan mo talaga ako? Can't you convince her?"

"The transfer has already been settled since February."

"That long?" he asked, surprised again. I just nodded as an answer.

He went silent, his eyes still on me. His forehead would probably get wrinkles from how much it creased. 

I know what he's feeling. I anticipated he'd feel bad but at that time, since the confession hadn't been done, I estimated his feelings to be just sad but now, it's different.

"Will you be fine on your own?" he asked after a while of silence.

"I've been alone before you came. But I'm not sure I can. I'm used to having you around."

I saw the uncontrollable smile finally break on his lips. "Well, if you need something, I'm always here."