who am i to you?

12.1

"Stop!" I yelled, running.

The next day - actually just a few hours after midnight, so its still my birthday and Christmas - I was on a group face time with Drix, Shi and Saint when Vlad and Viktor came into my room and abducted me. Not really that but they made me get dressed into my thick, puffy winter jacket against my will. Then they pushed me out of the house and into the backyard. They made Drix, Shi and Saint watch as my cousins made me run around the snowy lawn while they all threw snowballs at me. It was the yearly tradition.

"Nana! Dada!" I screamed but my grandparents couldn't do anything about my cousins.

And just like every year, I got sick because of that. With a fever patch still on my forehead, they made me go with them to ski up the Aspen Mountains. To make fun of me, Vanya documented everything with videos and pictures.

And to make fun of me even more, Vanya used my phone and made an Instagram account under my name. Then she posted my first picture there with a caption '17'. It was a picture of me sitting on the snow taken after I just fell skiing. I was frowning at Vanya behind the camera. I look stupid with snow all over my puffy jacket and a fever patch on my forehead. It didn't help that she made Violet keep my phone just so I couldn't delete the post.

When I got my phone back, the post was already seen by Drix, Shi and Saint. And they already made comments.

@santiseong: si idol pala 'to eh

@drix.is.me: pa shawrawt

@shilohshinohara: first post ni lodi

My birthday this year is the same as last year. Nothing changed besides the fact that I had friends now. And that alone changed everything. It's not something big but it entirely impacted my life and made my day more meaningful. Maybe this was my wish last year coming true. My wish that life gets better.

My wish this year is for it to stay this way.

After the New Years, we headed home. It was already nighttime when the plane landed so we went straight home. When I woke up the next day, it was almost noon. Nakakapagod yung flight. Pero parang ako lang ang napagod 'cause right after I went out of my room, I saw Mom packing another suitcase in her room.

"Mom, good..." I trailed, remembering the time. "...noon."

She gave me only a single glance. But that was enough for me to recognize the indifference that's still there in her eyes. "Reheat the food in the fridge. Eat."

"Okay." Instead of leaving, I remained by the doorway, watching Mom. "Leaving for work?" My voice was a bit low when I asked. I'm wary of her mood.

"Yes," she answered without a glance.

"When-" I couldn't continue my question anymore when she left and went to her closet. Nodding slowly, I pursed my lips and left.

More than the tiredness from the trip, talking with Mom is exhausting. I almost didn't finish my meal because I had no appetite. I'm just hungry and Mom might say something if I don't finish my food so I ate mindlessly until I finished everything. After eating, I washed the dishes and went back upstairs. When I went past Mom's room, I saw her still packing.