"It does not work this way" I repeat, shocked to the bone.
When I opened the door, he was the last person I was expecting to see. Heck, I never thought I would ever see him again.
I don't know what to feel, how to feel. All the emotions I had locked away come flooding back and I can't even pinpoint exactly what I am feeling. At a point in my life this man was all I knew, all I loved, all I wanted to love and be with, and, yet, now, it doesn't feel the same.
"Eufy..." he breathes my name, and I have to close my eyes and breathe because it hurts. It hurts hearing him call my name like that, the way he used to.
"It does not work this way. You don't leave me, and then come back years later and barge in here and kiss me like I'm yours, like you own me. You and I ended the moment you left"
"You have to understand Eufy, that I had no choice but to leave"
"And that is where you are wrong, that is where I will always disagree with you. You had a choice, you just refused to see it"
"I'm sorry," he says, as a tear falls from his eyes because I think we have both realized, that there is no going back to what we had, no matter how much I still feel for him.
I guess this is where I learn emotions are not everything, and love does not always make the difference.
"I'm sorry, too"
"Can I at least spend some time with my son?"
My son. He called Autry, my son, his son.
I shake my head, seeing what he is trying to do, "You and I" I motion between us with my hand "We don't have a son"
"I think you are wrong"
"And I think you are trying to find every reason to stay in my life. That chapter of our lives is closed. Finis. Okay? It is done. You made your bed and now you have to lie in it. You can't come back here and be making claims like you never left like nothing's changed. Because I have changed, in more ways than one, and it's sad to say, but I have no space for you in my life, Alexandre."
I move back to the door and open it, this time not for him to come in, but for him to leave, and for the best of us, never come back
"This isn't the last of us, Eufy. It can't be" he says and I look away, not giving him another glance, until he leaves, and my heart shatters into pieces, like always.
All I wanted was to be chosen, picked. I wanted to be important, I wanted someone to love me so much that I would be all they wanted. Guess life has not been structured out for me like that, cause if I and when I don't pick myself, no one does.
I draw off my coat and hang it up on the rack in my office, picking up my handbag so I can leave. I have to go and pick Autry from school anyway, and I can't treat any more patients with the way I am feeling, my head is not in the right space.
When I get into my car, I once again allow more tears to fall, thinking of what could have been, even though it is silly to cry over spilled milk. He can't come here and tell me he didn't have a choice but to leave. He had a choice. He could choose our love, but he chose to leave, giving me only an ultimatum of life I've never known. Interrupting my healing like this, and showing up out of nowhere, is not fair, but I'll deal as I have done for the past four years without faltering.
Simone
Hey darling girl, I've got good news, but first, how are you doing?
Like always since I met him, Simone pulls me out of my thoughts, even from miles away, checking up on me just like he always does.
Eufy
I'm doing okay. How about you? You should be asleep by now tho. And what's the news?
Simone
Couldn't go to sleep without talking to you first.
And for the good news, work has been easy on me since I went back to it, so I was thinking I would come to see you and Autry this weekend. What do you think?
Her heart skipped a beat at the longing she had in her heart and how much she wanted to see him. She was dealing with conflicting emotions and that was for sure. One part of her wanted to see Simone so bad, another part wanted to be in the arms of Ale all over again and feel those lips that were as soft as a feather, just as she remembered, back on hers.
Eufy
I would love that, but I don't want to inconvenience you.
Simone
Baby girl, you're never an inconvenience. So it's settled. I would come to see you. Have a goodnight, love
Eufy
Night Simone, <3
She had to make up her mind, and fast. She has to choose and fast.
Although, deep down, she knew that her chances with Ale were thin. The pain in her heart just won't let her.
YOU ARE READING
A ROYAL SURPRISE
RomancePregnant, but an unknown father. She has a mother, but not a mom. Her mapped-out life is messed up. Everything suddenly has taken a turn downhill. Even her boyfriend is now a douche bag. But he was her breath of fresh air. Her rock when she needed...
