Judgement - Johndo

57

„Now that we have that, can I ask something else Doyoung?", Sicheng says after all of them have calmed down from crying a bit, tissues lying all over the bed, everyone has used at least three by now.

Doyoung answers, sniffing shortly, „Sure, go ahead, you don't Even Need to ask if it's okay to ask, just say it."

„Okay then... how come you're telling us all this now? You seemed to have been in an emotional mood before already? What's the matter?"

At first Doyoung is silent, then sighs and starts, seemingly very worried but also down, disappointed in himself.

„I think I could fall for Johnny. And I don't mean in the way I treated previous men, I mean really fall in love. I'm not sure but I think it very likely could happen. Since I think I have a crush already... And that's all just because I see how he treats you, Win, I'm jealous of you when I see it. He treats you in a way I long to be treated and more. To be fair I could slap myself for falling for him, I mean he was so mean to me, judged me and so on. Yet here we are..."

If the two brothers already thought they heard unexpected things about Doyoung, then they now heard the explanation about the universe. The words he just said are the most absurd thing none of the two thought they would ever hear from him, let alone that he would actually be able to fall in love with anyone.

And according to what they heard, wouldn't his Traumas and more make this extremely difficult? Not just the relationship but also just Doyoung admitting he likes him and dealing with it by himself now.

And Johnny not responding to those feelings would break him apart, even more than he already is. Who knows how far he could start to go if Johnny would get a girlfriend, since from what Sicheng knows he's straight. Even if not, Johnny has a picture of him from what Sicheng previously thought, along with his own rather harsh and quick judgements, he no doubt hates Doyoung.

No surprise Doyoung kept avoiding seeing him or those two together, tried to desperately get Taeyong to pick up Sicheng again, he wanted to get away from what he felt will cause him even more problems than he already has.

It explains why he cried now, he has accepted it that he's jealous and that he kind of fell for Johnny's softer side. And why he decided to tell Taeyong and Sicheng what made him turn out like this, what's going on in his mind. So that they can stop trying to get him into things that hurt him, that they won't push or try to persuade him, that they know what's already the problem.

Before, Doyoung made it look like he just picked up some bad personality traits and was an absolute selfish bastard.

When in reality, he's a broken person, hiding behind a mask that makes him seem unshakable and cold against anything.