Judgement - Johndo

140

„My hunch was right hm...", Johnny mumbles as he gets off of his motorcycle.

After hearing Taeyong saying everything, his mind went crazy, yet three thoughts immediately stood out and came to him.

One, Doyoung loves him.

Two, hopefully he's not dead yet, hopefully he won't be too late.

Three, the park.

If Doyoung really is in love with him, especially for a while now, he will surely remember that that's the place their relationship started over and the place Doyoung showed his true self to Johnny for the first time. He could be there, if the situation is related to him, then Doyoung surely would chose either this place or somewhere they have been together.

And the thought was right, Johnny noticed the back of a person as he just arrived, very much likely to be Doyoung.

As Johnny walks closer quietly he can hear faint sobs, as well as now clearly identify the sitting person, rolled up into himself basically, as he has pulled his legs to his upper body. Rolled up and crying into himself, his legs and arms.

As Johnny reaches the younger he squats down quietly, standing behind Doyoung, before carefully and gently wrapping his arms around the human who has turned himself more into a ball at the moment.

Yet Doyoung still doesn't say anything, continues to sob a bit, gets quieter over time, till he seems to have forced himself to calm down enough to talk in a stable voice.

Then he starts speaking in a rather quiet and still slightly trembling voice, „How did you find me."

„I showed you this place, how would I not know where you could have been?", Johnny answers in a low but also soft voice, feeling Doyoung shortly flinch in his arms, not having expected that it is Johnny who went after him.

Yet even though he was surprised that Johnny has went after him, he doesn't ask anything or push him away, doesn't move one bit, only continues to sit there quietly. After a bit Johnny decides to sit down completely as well, putting his legs next to Doyoung on the sides, pulling the younger to his chest, even if it's the back.

Since it continues to be silent, Johnny decides to talk.

„What's wrong Doie? How come you're here and crying? Why are you so sad?"

No answer nor reaction.

„Frustrated? Tell me, why would you want to leave us? Why would you want to leave all of us behind, Taeyong, Sicheng, me. You know that your little brother was panicked out of his mind when you disappeared saying what you did."

After another short moment of silence, Doyoung finally speaks again.

„Why are you even asking... you should know the answer to all those things yourself already."

„I do, I was called by your brothers after all. But at the same time I don't. Tell me, what's wrong Doyoung?", Johnny continues asking this question, causing Doyoung who's already overflowing with emotions to burst out, turning around to face Johnny out of the affect, a bit angry even, because the repeating annoys him.

„Why do you keep asking, you know it already! Yes I do love you, I have for a long time now, even back then when you were an asshole towards me I had feelings because when I saw you with Sicheng and saw your softer side I knew I wanted you! I tried my best to just throw those feelings away but instead they grew bigger! I know that this is hopeless, I know you won't be able to forgive me, either way I have done a lot of wrong things in my life already and it's completely understandable to not forgive me for anything! I'm not trustworthy, I'm not even worth to ever be loved! So stop fucking asking why I'm here when you already know it, let me fucking cry out my broken heart you bastard... if you already have to break my heart at least let me cry it out..."

Having basically spat out everything that was on his mind Doyoung sinks down even more, head hanging low, any energy he had left in his body has left him, yet he still refuses to let his body fall forward onto Johnny. But that's all he's able to do now it seems, since their legs still touch.

Johnny first only looks at the boy in front of him, then sighs shortly.

He takes both his hands up and puts them on each side of Doyoung's face, cupping his face and makes him look up like this, Doyoung trying to avoid eye contact, yet giving in as he gets caught up in Johnny's eyes. He himself is Doyoung's greatest weakness after all.

Johnny speaks in a caring and emotional soft voice, „Why am I breaking your heart? I do love you after all, so what's the problem here?"

Hearing these words Doyoung can't help but tear up again, everything he tried to suppress comes back up in an instant.

„Y-You're lying..!", he sobs, putting his trembling hands on Johnny's which are still in his cheek.

„Why would I?"

„You're lying! You're lying...."

„I'm not Doyoung. I do love you."

„You're lying... I wasn't really g-gonna give my life up so don't say that just because I s-said something stupid...!"

„That's good to know. But it still doesn't change the fact that I love you."

„You're... lying...", Doyoung sobs again, his body falling forward now so that he leans onto Johnny, who hugs him right away without a second of hesitation.

„I'm not Doie, I'm not. I really do love you, ever since we started over. Your real side is what I just needed to see and get to know of you, your background, how you actually wanted to be all this time. Even if it's only now, I want to give you the security you need so you can freely be yourself, how you want to be and live. And I will always support you, whatever the cost may be. I will make you happy, so that I can feel fulfilled as well."