After We Ended

25.

Love needs constant effort. Kapag may isang tumigil, eventually, mapapagod na din 'yung isa. Siguro dumating na kami sa point na parehas na kaming napagod at nagsawa.

"I realized that maybe, I just miss the feeling and not the person anymore." I told my friends.

"I just woke up and realized that it's gone. I realized that I no longer care. All those busy schedules and cancelled dates made it worst. We barely even talk anymore."

"Are you saying that you fell out of love?"

Napayuko ako at tumango.

"Sinubukan ko naman patunayan sa sarili ko na hindi. I told myself na hindi p'wedeng mawala 'yun. Si Sorin ko 'yun eh. I tried to save it, but it just wasn't working anymore." I smiled sadly.

"So anong plano mo?" Mindy asked me.

"I think it's best to just end it."

I called Jace after talking to my friends. Surprisingly, hindi daw siya busy ngayon at pumayag kaagad.

Sa rooftop ng school ang sinabi ko para walang tao. Nauna ako doon kaya umupo nalang muna ako sa upuan at nakinig nalang sa pa-music ng school. Madalas kasi silang magpa-music kapag lunch.

"Eli ko?"

Napalingon ako sa likod ko nang may marinig ako. Nagtama ang tingin namin ni Jace, kaagad naman niya akong nginitian at linapitan.

"Hi." he whispered and hugged me. I bit my lower lip and hugged him back but pulled away immediately.

He looked stunned for a moment but he immediately recovered. He smiled at me. "Buti naman at nag tugma na ang schedule natin ngayon?"

Marahas akong humugot ng hininga at diretsong sinabi, "Let's break up."

"Huh?" nangunot ang noo niya.

"I thought about it and I realized that it's better if we just break up. Palagi na tayong busy, nawalan na tayo ng time sa isa't-isa. Napagod na ako sa gano'ng set up at alam kong ikaw din." I explained.

Napaiwas ako ng tingin at bahagyang pinisil ang daliri.

"And you know what? After months of thinking... I also realized that I fell out of love. I think we both did." I smiled sadly.

Tumingin ulit ako sa kanya para makita ang reaksyon niya. His jaw clenched and I saw how his eyes watered but he immediatley blinked.

"How long did it take for you to realize that?" he asked, his voice was cold and his face is now emotionless.

"8-9 months, I think? I'm not sure." I shrugged. "Basta simula 'nung parehas na tayong nawalan ng oras sa isa't-isa, naramdaman ko kaagad na may nagbago. Then I realized that everything about us changed. We're not as close like how we were before. I feel like we're different now. We grew apart, Jace."

"So you don't love me anymore?" he asked. Kaagad akong tumango.

"I no longer do. I'm sorry."

I suddenly felt bad. I'm being one sided and I didn't ask him about how he feels. I never did. I just assume and stick to that.

He nodded and smiled a bit. "I understand. I-I actually feel the same way. I think we both do."

Matagal ko siyang tinitigan. Hindi ako masyadong nagulat sa sinabi niya pero bakit pakiram ko ay may kumurot sa puso ko?

"Well, uhm, that's it then?" I asked. Tumango naman siya.

"So is this goodbye now?" he asked. I bit my lower lip and nodded.

"Thank you for the memories, Sorin." I said softly.

Tumango siya at may kinuha sa gilid. It was a small box.

"I was suppose to give it to you. Anniversary natin ngayon." he mumbled.

May tumulang luha sa pisngi ko nang iabot niya sa'kin ang kahon. Kaagad ko naman 'yong pinunasan gamit ang isa kong kamay.

I forgot that today's our anniversary... I'm sorry, Jace. I really am.

"Just burn it. We both need to move on." aniya. Tumango ako at bahagyang ngumiti.

"Can I hug you, Eli? One last time?"

Hindi na ako nagsalita at kaagad binaba ang kahon bago siya yinakap ng mahigpit.

I've already thought this through. I already decided and I'm sure that my feelings for him were gone.

But I'm confused.

Why does it hurt this much?

"Thank you for everything, Elise. For the love, the care, the happiness, the memories. For everything you've done for me. You'll always be my brightest star." he whispered and kissed the top of my head.

Love can be so unpredictable. One moment you're happy, then suddenly you're not.

It's hard to turn the page, knowing that he wouldn't be there after this chapter. I was with him since the beggining, and now, finally realizing that he's gone made it so much harder for me.

But who am I to grieve? This was my decision after all.

. . .

Happy Valentines Day!<3