After We Ended

26.

Last 5 Chapters!!

. . .

"I was so sure about my decisions back then. Hindi ko inisip kung ano ang kalalabasan at kung ano ang magiging epekto sa'kin. Sa'tin."

Pinunasan ko ang mga luhang natira sa pisngi ko at marahang hinaplos ang mukha namin ni Jace sa picture.

I'd give up everything just to be this happy with him all over again.

"Yeah, you're that kind of person. Kung ano ang sa tingin mong tama, gagawin mo. So I understand." mahinang sabi niya.

"I'm just slightly dissapointed that you resorted to breaking up with me instead of trying to talk about our problems."

Tumango ako at kinagat ang ibabang labi. He understands. He always does. Sa'ming dalawa, siya palagi ang umiintindi. Siya ang may mas mahabang pasensya. Mas marunong siyang mag tiyaga kaysa sa'kin.

"But you agreed, right? You said you also fell out of love? So it was mutual."

"I only agreed because I didn't want to make you feel bad. I know you're thinking about a lot at the time, kung sinabi ko sa'yo noon na mahal pa'rin kita, alam kong maaawa ka sa'kin. And I don't want you to stay with me because of pity. And besides, I wanted you to focus on your goals, I don't want to be a hindrance to your dreams." he explained.

Napatango ako, pinapakinggan ang mga sinasabi niya at pilit na pinapaintindi sa sarili na hindi ko kasalanan.

"We lack communication, Elise. Hindi natin napag-usapan ng maayos ang desisyon na 'yun. Halos hindi na nga din tayo nag-uusap noon eh, para tayong hindi magkakilala. Naisip ko, baka dumadagdag lang 'yung relasyon natin sa mga iniisip mo. So when you said you wanted to end it, I said yes. I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad, okay?" he sighed heavily.

"I just wanted to get this off my chest. I've been carrying this heartache for years now. It just feels good telling it to someone."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, Jace. Sana kasi mas inisip ko ng mabuti. I'm sorry for hurting you when I promised not to."

"Pinagsisihan mo ba?" mahinang tanong niya. Kaagad naman akong napailing.

"Honestly, no. Kasi kinailangan din natin noon. Dahil sa desisyon na 'yon, natupad kung ano talaga ang mga gusto natin. I became a teacher and you... you do what you love now. It may not be your original dream but at least you're happy." I smiled.

"Well, I told you before that I was planning to be a doctor and you seemed so proud so I tried pursuing it. You seem so happy, calling me your future doctor and all. But when you left, I had no more reason to be one."

Natahimik ako at nangunot ang noo. All along, that wasn't his dream? He was doing it... for me?

"That was suppose to be your choice. Why were you depending your future on what you think will make me happy?" That's his life and future, not mine. Kaya bakit ako ang sinusunod niya? All along, I thought that being a doctor was his dream. That was why I was proud, because he's choosing to pursue what he wants to. Pero ayaw niya pala?

"Because for me, you were my future. A happy family with you was all I ever wanted. I didn't care about anything else back then but that." he sighed heavily.

"But then you left and that's when I realized that I didn't really want that. I never wanted to be a doctor. I just wanted to be someone that you could be proud of."

"I'm already so proud of you, Jace." I looked away.

Napapaisip pa'rin ako sa mga sinabi niya but I told myself, at least hindi niya tinuloy. And he's doing what he loves now. So okay na ang lahat.

"And I also realized that I'm not meant for the medical field. This face of mine needs way more appreciation. Deserve ko talaga ang modeling sa pogi kong 'to." biglang biro niya kaya sabay na kaming natawa.

The atmosphere around us felt a lot more lighter. Finally, nasabi na namin ang mga hindi namin nasabi sa isa't-isa 'nung mga panahong kami pa.

"By the way, aren't you gonna give that guy a chance?" he suddenly asked. Nagtataka ko siyang tinignan.

"What guy?"

"Your co-teacher, Sir Troy? He's courting you, right?"

"I already told you, ayaw ko na magmahal ulit. I'm done with that." I shook my head.

Ang hirap lang kasi. Nasanay na ako kay Jace. Kahit ilang taon na kaming hiwalay, hindi ko pa'rin siya mapalitan. Bukod sa mahal ko pa siya, ayaw ko na din kumilala ng bago. Ang hirap bumalik sa simula tapos and ending, maghihiwalay din naman pala.

It's just a waste of time for me.

"You can't stay single forever." he chuckled.

"Eh ikaw nga balak mo din 'di ba? 'Pag ikaw p'wede, ako bawal?" pinaningkitan ko siya ng mga mata.

Natawa siya at umiling. "Hindi naman sa bawal. Pero paano ka pagtanda mo? Sino mag-aalaga sa'yo?"

"Sarili ko! I'm a strong independent woman." I said confidently, even flexing my non-existent biceps.

"Okay, kanino ka magpapamana ng mga kayamanan mo? Wala ka namang pamangkin?"

"Sa magiging anak nila Mindy! Magiging rich single ninang ako, 'kala mo ha." ngumisi ako. Mas natawa tuloy siya dahil sa kalokohan ko.

Pero sa totoo lang, 'yun talaga plano ko. Sana naman mag-anak ng madami 'yung lukaret kong kaibigan para marami akong papamanahan. Pati sila Tessa, Shiela, at Diane!

"Okay, Elise. If you say so." nakanginsing tumango si Jace.

"Seryoso nga ako! Parang 'di ka naniniwala. At bakit Elise? You used to call me Eli." ngumiwi ako.

"It's weird calling you Eli now." he shrugged. Napasimangot tuloy ako.

"Bakit baman weird? Eh gano'n naman talaga tawag mo sa'kin, kahit 'nung nagkita tayo ulit. Nagkausap lang tayo ng masinsinan, weird na kaagad?" sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. Mahina siyang natawa at kaagad na umiling.

"I have to stop myself. It's really hard to stop calling you my Eli. But then again, you're no longer mine."

Natahimik ako. Parang may kumurot sa puso ko at isang butil ng luha ang tumulo mula sa mata ko. Kaagad ko 'yong pinunasan bago huminga ng malalim.

"I know a lot of people say that this is impossibe but, uh, can we at least be friends again, Jace? I just... I can't lose you again."