Better go Solo

Chapter 4

I woke up from my ringing phone telling me I had some new messages. The sun was already falling through the gaps in my curtains, so my whole room shimmered in a light purple. Drowsily, I reached for my phone, which as always sat on my bedside table, and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes before tapping the message I had received. Heather had texted in our group chat that we were about to do a photo shoot for the cover of our first real album and that she had already got outfits for it.

Because of the fact that that appointment was still a few hours to go I turned on my music system and played my playlist. Dad was already at the studio which was why I was alone at the apartment and could make as much noise as I wanted to.

On my phone I scrolled through my Instagram feed and liked some posts of celebrities and old friends from school. I did not have many friends at school, but some people who had been nice to me were like friends for me.

A new photo my celebrity crush posted left me nearly drooling. He was hotter than hell that I sometimes had that urge to lick my phone but that was way too weird and way too disgusting.

Ash Saxton, the singer of the band Corentine. Black hair, light blue eyes, tattoos, piercings, incredible voice. He was not even four years older than me but so damn successful that he would never have to do any normal job in his life anymore.

His style was different to the way anyone else was looking like but that was the thing I liked the most. He dressed that way he wants and everybody had to accept it. I got bullied for the way I dressed for years at school. I was even called a satanic and that just because of the black nostril piercing I got when I was 16 and my always black clothes. Even though I had to confess that I looked kind of vampiric with my pale skin and the dark makeup around my eyes. My nearly white hair was the only thing on me that did not fulfill the cliche.

I stood up from my bed to take a shower so I entered my on-suite bathroom. The hot water caused my muscles to relax before I started washing myself. I cleaned the foggy mirror before I did my makeup. As I knew Heather she would clean my face as always, but since I started using makeup I did not go outside without.

Before I left my room I tied my black leather boots which I wore over my tight black jeans. Because of my oversized black T-Shirt my tattoos were visible. Heather would absolutely freak out again.

As I turned 18 I got half of my left Arm tattooed with demons as a gift to myself. On my right leg, in contrast, I got some symbols, which had a meaning to me, from time to time, my left thigh was covered by flowers. The day I came to our rehearsal like that for the first time Heather threw a tantrum and tried to hide my tattoos ever since. She already tried to get me to get rid of my nose piercing.

Dad was not that amused too because the tattoos were visible but since my childhood I knew that I was meant to do something with music. I could never do an office job. Furthermore, the plan was that I would take over dad's studio someday so it was actually unimportant how I looked like at all.

Today I took the bus to the photo studio because it was not that far away. I arrived first so that I had to wait for the rest of us. I continued listening to music and lit the cigarette between my lips.

I nearly finished smoking when a black suv arrived. In the drivers seat I could see Heather.

»I hate it when you smoke« Was the first thing she said while Marla got some bags from the trunk.

»And that's exactly why I don't even think about quitting« I replied grinningly. I got rid of the cigarette butt before following them inside.

Heather greeted the photographer I guessed. He looked at us.

»May I take some photos with that outfits on?« He asked. Heather ground her teeth.

»I don't think...« She started, but Josy interrupted her.

»Oh come on. Just for private purposes« She nearly begged. Heather was not happy with that but still said yes.

»Nobody ever posts that photos« She demanded.

We positioned ourselves as the photographer requested. Josy and I obviously had more fun posing than Marla and Heather so that Heather soon insisted on dressing in the outfits she bought.

»That's pink« I determined at my first look on the outfit Heather chose for me.

»That's not pink, that's blush« She corrected me. I hit my forehead with my hand.

»Are you fucking serious?« I swore.

»I think it's a good idea to let our outfit's colors match our band name« Marla intervened.

»I still hate that name« I grumbled, Josy laughed. I looked down my body and had to say one thing: I never felt that uncomfortable. I wore a dress in light PINK with long sleeves to hide my tattoos while everyone else had short or no sleeves. I did not know how fake my smile actually looked like in the pictures but it was.

While I was part of the band I was safe. I was allowed to make music and to be together with my best friend Josy. I should have been happy with that but I was not. I wanted more. I wanted success with something I did myself. Why should I be that part of the band nobody would ever remember? Nobody ever remembered the drummer of a band.

My biggest wish was to be remembered someday.