I Know I Shouldn't (Sequel To I Need You So Much) [Oliver Sykes Fan Fic]

All I Ever Wanted I Already Had

Song: Dragon Spell by The Word Alive

Melody

I stared at my phone for the millionth time. The screen remained black. I let out a sigh. I knew I had worse things to worry about than Tyler, who I hadn’t spoken to in two in a half months. I called him, but he never called back; I texted him, but he never texted back. I couldn’t help but be jealous because in my head, he had met someone new and hadn’t bothered to breakup with me. I had shut out any other possibility, like maybe he was just too busy with school work to call me or maybe he made a ton of new friends and was too busy with them. I had even dreamed up a girl who I thought of as much prettier than me. It was pretty bad. I should’ve known that we could never make it with an ocean between us. I longed to hear his voice again, to see his face, to feel his touch. Maybe my dad was right when he said that I was too young for a relationship. I didn’t know how to cope with him gone. I wasn’t codependent or anything, but I just got used to him being here. It made it worse because he told me we would get through this and that he loved me. Hadn’t he meant it? I thought what we had was unforgettable. How could I just leave his mind so quickly? Was I not as good as whatever girl he had met in America? Did he do this everywhere he went: told girls he loved them and then left when his mum got transferred? I didn’t know if I should be mad or upset. It wasn’t fair that he would forget me without even breaking up with me. 

“Melody! Dad’s here!” Linkin called up the stairs to me. Today was also the day that Dad was getting out of rehab. We had gone to visit him a few times after Mum said it was ok. She said she didn't want us to see him until he was a bit better, which ruled out seeing him during the first month of his treatment. Every time I had went into the facility where he was staying, I remembered when I was little and Mum had that talk with us about Dad wasn’t himself when he was going through withdraws. Of course, we hadn’t understood everything back then, but now that I was older, I understood what the withdraw symptoms were and I had been prepared going into the facility. To say the least, I was happy I wouldn’t have to go back there again. Well, hopefully I wouldn’t have to go back. As long as he stayed away from drugs, I would never have to walk through those automatic again. I was happier that he was well and was coming home. I had missed him. It was worse than when he toured because I knew he was happy on tour, but in rehab, I knew he wasn’t happy. It also sucked that he was only about thirty minutes away, but he couldn’t come home. I understood why, unlike the first time around, but I still didn’t like it. 

I shoved my phone away from me and hopped off my bed. I ran down the stairs just as Dad was entering the living room. He looked at the three of us standing there waiting for him and a grin broke out on his face. He then engulfed the three of us in a group hug with his thin tattooed arms. Even though I was still upset about Tyler, in the moment I was just glad to have my father home and well.

“I love you guys and I promise to never put you through this again,” he promised before letting us go. He took us in, still with the smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. His eyes locked with mine. Even if I had been mad at him for what he did to Mum and the drugs, I couldn’t have continued to be angry in that moment. I had my dad back and that was what mattered. Even though I knew he would leave on tour in a few weeks, he was still my same old dad and that was what mattered. No matter what happened, we were still a family and that was all I needed.