Adopted by Alex Gaskarth

halo

after we ate pizza I went up to my room . I was sad and angry at myself for breaking 30 days clean . I was jut crying and Alex came up to my room

*knock knock knock* "hazel" he mumbled

"yes" I hiccup quickly adjusting myself

he opened the door and said quietly
"you forgot about your meds."

"oh"

he handed me 4 different little pills

adhd. depression . anxiety . bipolar .

I sighed . and took them .

"you've been crying " he sighs

"no shit Sherlock ."

"why ?"

"what do you mean why ? I'm depressed Alex I'm sad . my mom killed her self . I'm blamed . my family hates me . "

"I didn't mean to offend you . I love you halo ."

"halo ?" I questioned

"yeah because halo and hazel sound the same and you're my halo . you're like an angel ."

"I'm the furthest from an angel it gets . I'm guaranteed a spot in hell ." I snort

"how come?"

"Alex I've tried to kill myself multiple times . I did drugs . I was a drunk . I smoke . and I'm 14 . "

"that doesn't mean you're going to hell ."

"Alex I don't believe in God ."

"why?"

"where was he at 4 am when I was trying to kill myself . where was he at my drug deals . where was he when my mom commuted suicide. where was he when I was abused . when I was raped . when I was alone . where is he at 3 am when I can't sleep because I'm crying . if there was a god why would he let me through that . and if he's real , I don't want to be around him if he let me live like this ."

"okay okay halo . goodnight ." Alex jumped putting his hands up in surrender

I knew he wouldn't understand .

no one does .

no one .