Adopted by Alex Gaskarth

mess

today I felt down.
it was just a slow day and I was lonely and left to my thoughts.
the boys were at a meet and greet and I decided to stay in the bus but I decided fresh air was needed so I grabbed my phone and some money and walked out heading into Atlanta

I found a Starbucks and decided I deserved some coffee for getting up today.
I sat down in a small booth and drank my drink after burning my tongue 573829 times.
I decided to walk around for a bit and it was growing fairly late and the sun was setting.
I started to walk back towards the bus and thought consumed me in my walk.
what if I'm becoming too much for alex.
what if I'm pestering them.
what if I'm asking too much from them.
fuck.
hazel calm down.
don't do this to yourself,
breathe.
but it was too late and I sent myself into a fit of fast breaths and salty tears.
I sat outside the bus trying to calm myself down but to my dismay it just wasn't working and I realized I haven't been taking my freaking medicine.
I walked into the bus slowly and I was greeted with 4 angry men all talking to me at once.
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HAZEL?" alex yelled causing my breathing to become even more fast and he soon realized I wasn't okay at the moment.

"shhhhh breathe halo breathe. it's okay I got you. shhhh" alex said picking me up and sitting on the couch.

"I-i-i didn't mean to be gone a-all day I was j-just sad"

"shhh why were you said darling?"

"I thought I-I-I was starting to a-annoy you guys"

"you will never ever annoy us kiddo" alex said rubbing  small circles on my back

"I'm sorry"

"shhhh it's okay halo. have you been taking your medicine?"

"no I forgot" I hiccup

"you've got to start to remember more I'll remind you okay."

"thank you" I give a weak smile and he carried me to my buck whispering encouraging words into my ear

I dreamt of my mom. I miss her. I've never believed in God. but I hope she can see me now. I hope I make her proud sometimes.

authors note my dudes :
this is sad wth. but I have no direction right now and this is messy but I haven't updated in awhile I'm sorry babes.