❤Struggles, Sentiments, Yearning❤

Chapter 10- Back To The Present Days..

Harry's POV

Rehearsals - Interviews - Concerts..
That's all that life has to offer now.. A decorated plate with just nothing on it.. Complete yet incomplete..

I looked at Louis today, not something that's new, just that today I looked at him with the hope that he would look at me the same way, the same stare, just like he used to do an year ago..

But Louis has been acting quite different lately.. He comes to rehearsals late, looks a bit worn out with each passing day, and coughs all day and frequently rushes to the washroom.. Something that has got me stressed these few days.. Its not actually how he is..

Obviously I haven't seen that charming smile ever since we separated our paths but anyhow he had that sparkling blue eyes, that perfectly toned body, that fresh look that he used to flatter everyday.. But now, he seems tired, his eyes fading away that sheen..

I saw him standing in one corner of the rehearsal studio, I pulled myself together, and walked upto him..

"Ahem", I said clearing my throat..

"Hey, Harry", he said back..

I could see a sudden shimmer.. A sudden unsung freshness right across his face.. I knew he loved me, even though he refused to accept it.. I knew it to myself but somehow I could see it today, right there, right in front of me..

"Is there anything bothering you? Are you fine?", I asked him hesitantly..

"I am fine.. I always am.. I tr.. Anyways, you need not worry,Eleanour is there to take care of me..",he said taunting my emotions..

"That's it then.. I am glad She is there to help you out.. Anyways, Take Care", i replied back arrongtly..

"I will", he said back..

Is this some kind of a cold war going on, just because we are not even allowed to love each other doesn't mean we can't even express our concerns..

We are best friends before any other tagline comes across our relationship but seems like everything's falling out of hands, like sand through the fingers, even our friendship..

I miss those days, those days when nobody could take us apart, when we could understand each other just by looking in the eye, when we got to share the same piece of pancake, when I used to do the dishes so that Lou would take me on long romantic drives.. The times when kissing on the neck was possibly the best feeling ever.. I miss resting my head on Lou's chest, when he used to run his fingers through my curls, that simply took away all the stress that had caught me all day.. Those days, those moments, I miss them all..

I felt myself sitting, curled up, weeping like a baby boy, waiting for him to come around, wrap me around his arms like he used to do.. And gently place a kiss on my lips..

How I desperately wished for that day to never come, the day when my whole world got eroded.. When He went away saying he didn't love me enough.. That he didn't love me at all.. I still remember each and every word that came out of his mouth that day.. When he simply walked away, after he came back home..

27th june, 2013..

"Hey Lou, where have you been? I have been waiting so long for you?", I said hugging him from the back..

He roughly let go off my hand and replied back in a somewhat cranky tone,"Is it always so important to let you know about everywhere I go?"

"Why are you shouting and acting so rude? I simply asked, I do it everyday, so what's wrong today?", I asked him upset..

"I am tired, Harry.. Tired of everything, This house, this life, this secrecy, this bloody food, the furnitures, it's like every single thing around is driving me nuts, even You Harry, even You", he said out ..

"Even Me?", and before I could finish..

"Mostly You, Harry.. God knows what has happened to You, You act like a wife all time, as if we are married, bossing around all day, asking me the same old questions every single day, even Eleanour doesn't interrogate me as much as You do.. Please I need my space..",he bursted out in anger..

"Whay happened all of a sudden? You were just alright yesterday, and a day changed your feelings of togetherness to something you call suffocation?", I said to him..

"It's not about a single day, but i have been suffocating since many days, I need a break Harry.. And I don't know about you but it seems like, I have had my share of fun.. My share of infatuation, which I thought or rather named Love, though", he said..

"You didn't just say that, Louis Tomlinson.. You dare not flip your back at me when You say such things..",I said pulling him back towards me..

"Yes, you heard me.. I am serious.. I don't love you, i never did.. And moreover, the management doesn't want us to stay together, sharing the same flat.. So eventually, I decided to move in to somewhere else, maybe closer to Elenour's..",he said again.

"So this is about the Management? You just say it Lou, I promise I'll fight for anything to keep us together.."I said pleading incessantly..

"It's about Me, Harry.. I don't want your presence to bother me anymore.. Please let me go and let me free.. Let me be with the one I love, with Eleanour", he said..

"Fine, just go.. But you know that you can do anything, except lying to me.. I know you don't mean any of the words you said, not a single one of it", I spoke out to him, managing to pull back all the pieces of my crushed self..

"Grow up, Harry", were his last words before he took all his belongings and went away, leaving me behind, totally devastated, unable to reconcile all that happened...

I still remember that day, after Lou went away, I sat there right where he left me, the whole night.. My eyes didn't flicker, my hands didn't move.. Only my mind screamed and heart wept relentlessly on the loss of the person whose presence mattered the most..

I still hate him for what he did that day to me, what he made me go through, the pain.. But somewhere my heart still believes that there's something, an another side to the story Lou told me.. I didn't go back finding anything as to why he did that 'cause i know that someday, he would walk upto me, hold my hands, and tell me to take him back, for he didn't mean anything he said that night.. And I would be standing there, again holding him back, but this time with a promise, to not let him go, ever..