Yellow Ledbetter

This Is Me Trying

A week had gone by and Jane was progressing very quickly. By that Saturday she was making short walks down the hall, with help.

Her vision hadn't returned yet which frustrated her.

She felt that she was disappointing everyone by not being able to make out anything from the blurs. After meeting with an Ophthalmologist a few days prior, it was confirmed that the blindness was due to the sedation and not a nic in her brain.

With the progress that she was making, Cristina and Amelia began to talk about sending her to Boston General for the rest of the recovery period. JD, who had already gone back to New York, would go up to Boston with his senior resident to remove the stent. The trio of Surgeons would Video Call with a new team in Boston and keep track of her progress.

Maura liked the idea of Jane recovering at home, and had hoped for Jane to agree.

Jane did like the idea about recovering back home, but had gotten into a rhythm in Switzerland and realized she didn't want to go home just yet.

"So Jane," Cristina said after finishing writing something on the chart, "you've been making significant progress and your heart has been phenomenal. After talking with Doctor Shepherd and Burr-Montgomery they agree that you are trending in such a great direction that we have made the decision to send you home for recovery."

"That's wonderful news! Isn't that so Jane?" Maura asked. "I mean yeah, but are you sure?" Jane looked over in Cristina's direction.

"Barring any relapses, I see no problem." Cristina set the chart down, "Now, I do want you to have at least five days of PT that are good and don't end with you cussing out my physical therapists."

"Thank you for everything Doctor Yang and pass it along to Amelia and Doctor Burr-Montgomery will ya?" Jane reached out to shake Cristina's hand.

"Will do. Congratulations Jane." Cristina smiles before leaving.

"Just think, this time next week, you'll be home." Maura smiled. Jane began to cry. Maura, who was a little bit alarmed by this, pulled in her wife for a hug.

"Jane? Jane, honey what's wrong?" Maura asked. "I'm not ready to go home." She sobbed. "What do you mean?" "I mean, I want to go home to Boston, but I don't think I'm ready yet." Jane sniffed.

"Jane." Maura wiped a tear off of her cheek, "It's okay if you aren't ready. I want you to heal at your own rate, but after talking with your surgical team, they agree that your progress would go quicker if you were in a familiar place. It would also be easier for the kids to come and visit after school and practices."

"But I'm not ready!" Jane cried, "I'm still too fucking weak and useless! They'll take one look at me and send me back! I'm trying to heal, but I can't do it! I'm not ready!"

"Jane." "This is me trying, Maura!" "Shh..." Maura hugged Jane again, "It's okay Love. I know you are trying so hard to heal and I'm gonna be here every step of the way, okay?"

Jane nods and continues to hug Maura. She began to play with Maura's hair. "You have a grey streak." She said. "I was so stressed that my hair may have...wait what?" Maura pulled away. Jane's eyes went wide as she looked at her hands.

Maura pressed the call button, "Jane? Can you see me?" "Yes." Jane breathed out before kissing Maura, "I can see you."