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T W E N T Y T W O (⚠️🌶)
BUCKS POV
I helplessly watched her walk out the door, my heartstrings twisting in the most painful way possible. Part of me wanted to run after her, try to convince her somehow to stay, but her words were clear and final.
We were over.
Agatha's words kept replaying in my head. How does she expect me to let her go when she has become my lifeline since we met?
It had taken me a while to figure it out, but I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her from the moment she sneaked into my bed to comfort me during one of my endless nightmares about the tsunami at the time. She could've easily ignored my cries for help, pretended she never heard anything, we were getting to know each other back then, after all, but instead, she chose to be there for me and never saw me differently after seeing me being vulnerable.
That night I realized that what I'd been looking for all my life was right there in front of me. Someone that supports me and has my back even when I make dumb decisions, which is often. Someone that cries and laughs with me without any judgment. Someone that loves me no matter how broken I am. Agatha was and will always be that someone.
God, my parents were right. All I know how to do is screw everything up.
My fist connected with the wall, no longer being able to hold back the tears I've been fighting with.
There wasn't anything I wanted more in life than to see Agatha happy, but the thought of her being with some other guy made me sick to my stomach, which was something incredibly selfish coming from me considering what I did with Taylor. Someone who clearly wouldn't give two damns about me as Agatha does.
I still couldn't entirely process what had happened these last three months. They have been an utter blur since the day Agatha practically died. Everything went downhill quickly after that, but it took a turn for the worse after her second miscarriage.
I stupidly thought we would never go through that personal hell ever again, yet here we were. This time was worse than the first time.
This time we managed to get attached to the baby fully. This time around, we had multiple ultrasounds, due date, and the chance to listen to their heartbeat. That experience alone made this miscarriage unbearable for me, and I know it fully distorted her.
After listening to that little heartbeat, there was nothing more I wanted to do than to protect and love them forever, something my parents never did with me. Yet that was ripped away from my hands in a blink of an eye.
