The Last Chance Book 2

Chapter 5

TW: Injury descriptions mentions of blood

He looks at Max's stitched up wound and immediately regrets it. It's the first time he's actually able to see it without the bandages. It's larger then he expected. He bites his lip and looks away. A few tears fall from his eyes. He can feel the guilty feeling in his chest start to get bigger. " NuNew. It's not your fault that this happened. It's only Tyler's fault. He is the one who chose to use a knife NuNew " he hears Max say. Everyone always says that. However he doesn't believe it. He's becoming annoyed with himself. He's been warned time and time again by Nate what would happen if he got close to people or have people help him.
He takes a couple of shaky breaths to try and calm himself down before turning back around. When he's turned back around Max's wound has been bandaged back up. Which he's thankful for. " Nat and NuNew I'll check you guys at the same time. So both of you please take your shirts off so I can see the bruises on your chest " the doctor says. Max and Nat switch spots while he takes a seat next to Nat. Both of them take their shirts off. Unable to stop himself he looks over to Nat. His body has bruises all over his chest. Worse then the bruises on his chest. He looks away from Nat. Gripping tightly on to the edge of the bed. He bites his lip hard, trying to stop himself from crying. " NuNew can you sit up straight so I can look at your chest. I also want to see how your scar is " the doctor says. Slowly he looks up and the doctor notices him holding tears back. " Are you in a lot of pain NuNew ". He shakes his head. " Are you in any pain at all ". He shakes his head no. " Are you upset because of Max's and Nat's injuries ". He freezes by the doctors sudden question. The doctor just lightly pats his shoulder and starts to check his bruises as well as his scar. He flinches slightly whenever the doctor pushes down on his bruises. Once the doctors done checking his bruises he quickly checks Nat. He can hear every time Nat is feeling pain. And he hates it. Until this moment Nat hasn't shown that he's in pain. He knows that Nat is trying to hold back his pain for him. So he won't feel guilty. He's beginning to get annoyed. Not because of Nat but because of himself. Was he really that pathetic that everyone must hide their emotions and feelings from him. He's only just now realizing how everyone acts a specific way ever since the beach. They all treat him like glass. Like the slightest thing could break him. " Alright. The two of you guys seem to be doing well. Your bruises will just give you some pain for a while tell they disappear. Other than that the three of you are good to go. The hospital informed me that you guys were given some pain medication so I won't have to worry about that. Max if you start getting a fever or feeling any extreme pain come see me immediately ". Him and Nat both put on their shirts and stand up. " You three should head to the principals office now ". They say goodbye to the doctor and nurse.
While walking to the principals office Nat and Max are talking with each other. He just stays silent. Paying attention to how almost every one they pass looks at them with a look of pity. " NuNew are you ok " Nat asked. Concern written all over his face. " I'm fine " is all he replied with. Nat not believing him says " Please tell me if you are not ok NuNew. We are here for you ". He stops walking and looks at Nat. " I'm really ok Nat. Can you please just stop asking me that " his voice gives away that he's becoming angry but neither Max or Nat say anything about it. He's glad they didn't. He's tired of always seeming like he can break down at the slightest thing. He hates how often he would let himself break down.
After a little while they make it to the office. The office lady points towards a room. He quickly walks over to the room and opens the door. When he does he hears his mother saying " He's a little fragile still. Especially after seeing Nate and the others again. So please forgive him if he needs to take a break from some of his classes ". He opens the door all the way. Everyone quickly looks their way. Before anyone can say anything he says " I walked over with P'Max and Nat. Since they have arrived I'm going for a walk ". He turns around and starts to leave when he feels someone grab his hand. When he turns around he sees that it's his father. " You need to stay here so we can talk about everything ". He tries to get his hand out of his fathers hold but he's not strong enough. " I don't want to be here. Why do I have to talk about it. I'm perfectly fine. I'll just be missing some classes for the court ". He can see everyone looking at him concerned. Only making him more annoyed. " Stop looking at me like that. Stop looking and treating me like I can break at any moment. Like I'm fragile ". He says the last part looking at his mother. His father tries to pull him into the office. When he starts to resist his father turns to look at him. " Why are you pushing all of us away NuNew! You are starting to act the way you did when everything started " His father says angrily. Everyone becomes silent. He becomes shocked by what his father said. " How dare you! You think this is the same as I acted back then " he says laughing in disbelief. " This is nothing like how I was back then. For you to even say something like that. Shows me you don't understand anything about me at all ". He feels his father loosen the grip on his hand so he takes the chance to pull away. Once his hand is out of his grip he starts to run out of the office ignoring the pain on his chest. He just needs to get away from everyone. He doesn't know where he's going. He just runs across the school. Ignoring the looks that people give him. He eventually finds a door leading outside so he goes outside of the building. He continues to run over to a small building off to the side of the school. When he reaches it he falls to the ground crying. Not because he's sad, but because he's angry. He's angry that everyone constantly treats him like he will break at any second. He admits that he often gets nervous but he's not that fragile. He's also angry that his father would bring up how he acted in the past. He screams " Fuck " and hits the cement ground hard repeatedly. Just trying to let go of his anger. However it doesn't work. He continues to do it until someone pulls his arm and stops him. He shoves them away. Quickly standing up and turning around to see who it was. It's Zee looking at him extremely worried. " NuNew " is all Zee says. He just laughs defeatedly. " Why does everyone look at me like that " he shouts. " We are all just worried about you ". There it is again. " Everyone keeps saying they're worried. That's fine but there's a certain point that it becomes to much Hia. I am not fragile! I can be on my own. I haven't been alone at all since the beach Hia. Everyone's treating me like a little kid " he says shouting. He can see Zee holding back tears. " I'm sorry you think we are acting like that ". He rubs his head frustrated. " I don't think Hia. I know everyone's acting like that ". Zee tries to come closer but he just backs away. So Zee stops walking towards him. " Listen NuNew, I understand ". He laughs making Zee stop talking. " You don't understand Hia. No one does. Especially not my father after what he fucking said. If you guys have everyone babying you 24/7 and not even letting you be alone you'd be angry yourself " he said angrily. " We want to make sure nothing happen to you " Zee says trying to calm him down. But it only makes him angrier. " You said yourself that Nate and the others are in jail right now so why would something happen Hia! You said it yourself " he says loudly. It's quiet for a while before Zee quietly says " What about yourself. What if you hurt yourself. Like you were doing when I caught up to you. I promised I would protect you. Even from yourself ". He's taken aback by what Zee says. He looks down at his hands and sees that they're bloody. He doesn't feel any pain so he didn't realize it. " I don't feel anything Hia. They don't hurt. I'm fine ". Zee is now the one to laugh in disbelief. " Look at how much your hands are bleeding. You're not ok. You're not ok both mentally and physically. And that's ok because I am going to help you get better " Zee says as he walks over to him and gently grabbing his wrist. He just looks down at Zee's hands on his wrist. " I'm scared at the way I'm becoming Hia. I'm starting to only feel angry. When I'm not angry it's me panicking or being numb. I really fucking hate myself. I'm so pathetic " he says in a whisper. Zee just pulls him into a hug not saying anything.

Word Count: 1653

Trauma has the ability to effect our emotions and not allow us to feel certain emotions.