The Last Chance Book 2

Chapter 33

NuNew and Zee walk for 5 more minutes on the side of the road before NuNew stops. He turns to look at Zee and says " It's about 15 minutes this way " as he points towards an old and abandoned trail that leads into a forest type of area. " Are you sure it's ok to go back there. It's getting dark out and the path looks abandoned ". He rubs his forehead a little frustrated. " Do you have your phone with you Hia ". When he sees Zee nod he says " We should be good then. We can use your phone as a flashlight ". Before Zee could protest any more he starts walking down the trail.
Both him and Zee continue to walk in silence. Which he's thankful for. It gives him time to think about tomorrow. Because if he's honest he really doesn't want to go now. He originally only said yes so that Nat could possibly get some help for his ptsd. However, knowing that he's going to have to walk around that damn hospital after staying there for so long angers him and makes him anxious. That hospital is filled with horrible memories. He doesn't want to walk around it. He doesn't even want to be near the hospital. It brings back unwanted memories.
" NuNew " he hears Zee shout before falling on to something hard. He winces in pain before looking around. He's tripped over a stump and fallen on to a giant rock. " We are here " he says as Zee helps him slowly stand. " You're bleeding NuNew. You should be more careful and pay attention to where you are walking " Zee says as he points towards his knee. When he looks down he sees a big open wound on his knee. He just sighs before walking over to a fallen tree and sitting down on top of it. Zee kneels down in front of him. Looking at the wound. " We should go back so we can get this cleaned up ". He takes a deep breath and says " I don't want to be there. My mother and father are going to make me go tomorrow now. And I really don't want to go anymore Hia ". He watches as Zee moves to sit next to him. " Why don't you want to go anymore. I think this would be beneficial for ". He interrupts him and says " Because I don't want to walk around the hospital. It's already hard enough to go to his office. I don't even know if I can even get myself to start walking farther into the hospital. Who knows what he'll make me go to or what he will say ". Zee grabs on to his hand and gently squeezes it. That's so it takes for him to start crying. " I'm terrified Hia. Just by knowing I'll go to the hospital again I hade a terrifying nightmare. That damn hospital is filled with horrible memories I don't want to see. Dr.Bun pushed me into really bad panic attacks the last few times I saw him. Who knows what will happen this time ". Zee pulls him into a tight hug and kisses him gently on his head. " Maybe we can cancel it. We could always just talk over the phone " Zee try's to suggest. " It won't work. For my parents to call him, it means they were desperate that I was going to do something bad to myself or that I would go into a terrible anxiety attack like I did. I don't even think that they needed to call him. It was another anxiety attack caused by this stupid trauma I have ". Zee starts to gently rub his back. " I won't let you walk around the hospital with just you and him. I'll make sure that I am right there beside you baby. If anything starts to bother you to much then I will make him stop, ok ". He nods his head before pulling away from the hug. When he does, Zee wipes away his dried tears. " Let's get back to your house ok. So we can clean up your leg and eat some dinner. I'm sure everyone is worried about you a lot ". He takes a deep breath and says. " I don't really want to. I just want to stay here with you. Just the two of us ". Zee leans down and kisses him. It's neither a short or long kiss. It's a kiss that's just filled with love and comfort. It makes him feel calm. Makes him feel happy.
When Zee stops kissing him, he gently rubs his head. Making him smile a little bit. " If we could, I would stay here with you alone as well. However it's already dark out and you are injured " Zee says as he stand up. He lets out a sigh before standing up again. Zee then gently grabs on to his hand gently before guiding him back towards his house.
When the get back to the house everyone's worried. " Can someone get the first aid kit please. NuNew fell on our walk " Zee says. His mother immediately rushes to get the first aid kit while everyone else comes rushing over to them. " I'm fine " he says. However Nat being Nat says " No you're not. I can see how terrified you are and your knee is covered in a lot of blood ".
He rubs his face stressed as he sits down on a couch.
" You'd be terrified to if you have to go back somewhere that's filled with a bunch of traumatic memories ". He says as his mother comes over to him. Holding the first aid kit. " Can't we just cancel this mom " he says sounding exhausted.
" I'm sorry but we can't. This episode you just had today was really bad. You need to go see him. Plus it'll be good since you haven't seen him in a while " his mother says as she cleans up his knee. So he just turns to look at Zee as if to say, see I told you.
" Finished. Let's go eat dinner now everyone " his mother says as she finishes cleaning up his injury. So he just stands up and sits down in his seat at the table. Once everyone is sat down, Zee fills his plate up with food before giving it to him. " Thank you " he says quietly.
The whole time during dinner NuNew doesn't speak and barley eats his food for dinner. " NuNew are you ok " he hears Net ask. He looks over to Net and gives him a small smile while nodding yes before looking down at the food on his plate. He's barley eaten half of it.
" If you excuse me, I'm going back to my room. I'm feeling really tired and I need to prepare myself for tomorrow " he says as he stands up. Taking his plate towards the garbage and getting rid of his unfinished food before putting it into the sink.
He quickly walks into his room and closes the door behind him. Once inside he opens the window to look outside. Feeling the cold air makes him feel more relaxed. " Can I come in ". He flinches at the sudden voice. So he turns around quickly to see Net. So he nods his head before turning to look back outside of his window.
He watches as Net comes closer to him. Net leans against the open window like he currently is. They both look outside the window in silence for a while. Before Net finally starts a conversation. " What's going through that head of yours NuNew ". He takes a deep breath before saying " Honestly a lot ".
" You can tell me it all. It might help to talk with someone. I'm here for you NuNew. I can tell that you are really struggling and I want to help " Net says reassuringly. It becomes silent after Nets done talking. He can tell that Nets waiting patiently and giving him time to think through his own thoughts.
" I'm just tired. There's so much that I don't even know where to start P'Net " he says in a quiet and unsure voice. " Let's sit in your backyard NuNew. It seems to help you keep calm " Net continues. He just nods his head as they leave his room and towards the front door. " Me and NuNew are going to go sit outside in the back yard and have a long talk " Net says before they both head outside into his backyard. They find two chairs outside to sit down on.
Once they sit down Net starts talking again. " NuNew, are you tired mentally or physically ". He takes a deep breath to prepare himself for this long talk they are about to have. " I think that it's both " he says looking towards the night sky. " Why are you feeling tired mentally. Give me the reasons. I can try to help with each one. It doesn't matter how little or how big they are NuNew " Net says as he leans his back against the chair. " Well today there was the panic attack or whatever it was. When I found out that Nat had the horrible nightmare that he did. I feel like whenever he has a nightmare because of everything that's happened it's my fault. That if anything happens to any of you guys because of this incident that it's my fault " he says rubbing his forehead stressed. " NuNew you are a very empathetic person. You place yourself in others positions and then blame yourself if you are involved with the issue in the slightest bit. Anything that's happened to us is no where near your fault. Nate has it engraved into your head that anything bad that happens to anyone you care about is your fault when it's not " Net says. " How do I not think this way then P'Net. I don't want to think like this. I know it's wrong but then it just throws me into panic and makes me feel guilty "
He asks as he turns to look at Net. " No one knows. It depends on yourself. Your thought process won't change quickly. It will take a while and will be hard. You essentially have to try and train your brain to think the opposite of when you want to blame yourself " Net says. He takes a deep breath before looking back up to the night sky.
" NuNew you have no reason to feel guilty. The only reason you should feel the slightest bit of guilty is for treating yourself the way that you have been since the beach incident " Net says. Making him confused. " What do you mean P'Net. How am I treating myself differently ".
" I think that I'm the only person who has noticed this so far. So I'm going to tell you this. From the very start of meeting you I have payed close attention to you. A lot more than anyone else thinks. I have thought of you as my younger brother from the start. I worry and care about you so much NuNew " Net says as he turns to look at him. He's a little shocked to hear this.
" Since the beach incident you have been treating yourself a lot worse then when you first came to our school. I can tell that you are someone who lives and enjoys food. Yet ever since the beach incident you never eat a full meal. You do this thing where you take a few bites and seem to get full. You blame yourself for every little thing that happens. You don't want us all to worry so you hide how you really feel and act happy when you aren't " Net says. He holds back his tears. " It's scary " he whispers. " What's scary NuNew " Net asked concerned. " That what I thought for so long is the opposite of what's happening " he says. " What did you think NuNew " Net asks trying to get him to open up.
They fall into a long silence. Net gives him the time to get the courage to speak to him and open up. " For so long I have felt like I would get better if I had friends and Nate and the others were put behind bars. Yet it's the complete opposite P'Net " he says as tears start to stream down his face. " Why do you think that NuNew ". He takes a shaky and deep breath before continuing. " I am still in so much pain mentally from this. I find it so hard to have friends because it feels strange to me. You guys give me so much comfort and kind words and it's just so strange and I have a hard time believing you guys when you compliment me on anything. And I thought that after having Nate and the others behind bars that mine and my parents relationship would become better. However they just don't understand how I'm feeling and only worry so much about me. Nothing has gotten better. It feels like it has gotten worse. It just feels like it's never going to get better. There's always this thought in the back of my mind that if I had never gotten up then everything would be a lot better " he says quickly. Net stands up and walks in front of him. Quickly pulling him up and into a tight hug. " You have made things so much better NuNew. You have helped everyone in our friend group NuNew. We are all a lot happier with you here. It's so much fun to be friends with you. Your parents love you so much. They just worry because it's there job. You have been through hell. You have a lot of trauma because of everything that's happened. So it's going to take a long time to fully recover from this. Starting the long process to recovery is the hardest part. You are still in that starting process NuNew. Once you pass this starting part you will feel a lot better. Things will get better with time NuNew " Net says reassuringly as he gently pats his back.
He just lets himself cry. " I'm always going to be here with you along this journey to recovery NuNew, Ok. So anytime you text me I will text you back or call you to help you with anything. While you are at the hospital tomorrow I will be ready to text you at any time. I'm here for you NuNew " Net says as he pulls away from the hug. He just nods his head and wipes away his tears.
" Thank you P'Net, really " he says. Net just smiles before they both head back inside.
He walks straight back into his room. Once he does he closes the door behind him. Failing to notice Zee in the corner.
" Are you ok baby " he hears Zee. Causing him to flinch a little bit. So he turns around to look at Zee. Who is shirtless. " I'm ok. Doing better after talking with P'Net " he says as he looks away from Zee. " That's good " Zee says as he walks over to him. Zee pulls him towards his bed. " I'll get you some pajamas baby. Just sit here on the bed for a moment " Zee says before turning around and heading towards his closet.
Once Zee walks back over to him. He's handed a black short sleeved shirt as well as a pair of black shorts. " Thank you Hia " he says as he avoids looking at Zee. A little flustered that he's got no shirt on. " Why are you avoiding eye contact with me baby " Zee asks as he pulls him up into a hug. Kissing him on the head. Making a light shade of red spread across his face. " Why must you act like this " he says laughing a little. " Because whenever I do, you always seem to become a little more happy ". He lightly hits Zee. " You knew exactly what you were doing " he says.
" By what? Wearing no shirt? Maybe I did, Maybe I didn't " Zee says in a teasing tone of voice.
He looks up to Zee and makes eye contact with him. " I love you Hia " he says quietly. Zee gives him a gentle smile and says " I love you to
baby " before leaning down and giving him a quick kiss. Making him smile.

Word Count: 2718