The Last Chance Book 2

Chapter 36

As he stands in front of the entrance he can feel himself wanting to turn around and run. And for a split second he thinks that he should turn around a run. He would have done that if it wasn't for Zee guiding him inside of the hospital slowly.
When he's inside of the hospital he looks around. It looks exactly how it did when he was last here. " Oh, NuNew is that you " he hears someone ask. Looking towards the front desk he sees a doctor. " Dr.Bun, it's nice to see you " his mother says. " I wish I could say the same but considering where we are I can't. What's happened " Dr.Bun asked.
" NuNews gone through a lot and just recently as I'm sure you are aware of. And he had a really bad episode the other day so we had to call Dr.Khai , his therapist " his mother says. Dr.Bun walks over to him. " How are you currently feeling NuNew " Dr.Bun asked him.
        He looks at Dr.Bun before shaking his head. " Are you scared to be here NuNew " Dr.Bun asked. He nods his head before quietly saying " There's so many bad memories here. I don't like it. Everywhere I look is like a major reminder of my time spent here. I've barley walked into the hospital and I'm already wanting to turn around and run away. The only reason I haven't is because Hia Zee has a hold on me ".
        He sees Dr.Bun write something down on his clipboard. " What are you doing " he asked nervously. " I've been working with Dr.Khai as his assistant. So I'm taking notes of this so I can tell him " Dr.Bun says. His eyes widen. " You can't! He will make me look at worse things " he says loudly. Trying to grab the clipboard. However Zee holds him back. " NuNew " Zee says trying to get him to calm down. " Please don't tell him Dr.Bun. I don't want to remember what it was like being here. If you tell him he's going to make me remember " he begs Dr.Bun. Who just looks at him worried.
        " There's no need to tell me what happened. I have been watching the whole interaction off to the side " Dr.Khai says. Causing him to freeze. " NuNew, my job is to help you learn techniques to help your ptsd as well as help you overcome some of the triggering memories. I can't do that when you try to hide things from me " Dr.Khai continues.
        " Dr.Khai, he's been hiding a lot from all of us still. He doesn't open up much. There are days where he will be open but then the next thing you know he's back to not opening up " his father says. He closes his eyes and tries to calm himself down. " Take deep breaths baby " Zee whispers quietly to him.
        " Let's all head to my office so we can talk in private " Dr.Khai says. So they all follow him down the long hallway. With every step they take comes a new memory of his time spent at the hospital. Both bad and small not so bad memories fill his head.
He would often walk around the hospital in order to help him recover his strength. As well as to get some fresh air, outside of the small hospital room he had stayed in for so long.
" Welcome to my office, please make yourself comfortable " Dr.Khai says as he ushers them into his office room. And as soon as he's inside his eyes immediately go to the one chair that's left open. The one he would sit in every time he came in to the office for an appointment.
The chair is like a torture for him. Once he sits down in that chair there's always panic and tears that follow shortly after. " NuNew " he hears Dr.Khai ask before feeling someone lightly touch his shoulder. Making him flinch. So he quickly turns around. " Yes " he asked nervously.
" Please take a seat in the chair " Dr.Khai says. So he nods his head before slowly walking to the chair, sitting down in it. Zee is sat down in the chair next to him. He bites his lip and watches nervously as Dr.Khai walks over to his desk and sits down. " Alright, let's get started shall we. As you all know I'm Dr.Khai, a therapist for the hospital. I have been working as a therapist for 15 years. My job is to help patients who went through traumatic situations. I specialize in trauma and ptsd " Dr.Khai says, introducing himself. He unconsciously starts to fiddle with his fingers.
" When NuNew first had his incident I was one of the few people who were working with him constantly on trying to get better after the incident. While Dr.Bun was the head nurse that helped NuNew " Dr.Khai continues. He looks outside of the hospital window. Wishing to be in one of the several cars he watches pass by.
" It's nice to meet you Dr.Khai. My name is Max while this is Nat. Then that's Zee over there next to NuNew ". When Max says his name he quickly looks over to him. They make eye contact and Max smiles at him gently. He looks down at his hands and starts to fiddle with them again.
" It's nice to meet you all. From my understanding Nat, you feel as if you suffer from ptsd because of what happened at the beach. Is that correct " he hears Dr.Khai ask. " Y-yes. I talked about it with NuNew " Nat stutters quietly. Clearly anxious just like he is.
" Can you tell me why you think that you have it " Dr.Khai asks. " He doesn't think. He does have it " he says quietly. " And why is that NuNew " Dr.Khai asked him. " I-Isn't it obvious. It's because I couldn't protect him from Nate. I went off alone with Nat and then Nate found us. They hurt him and I couldn't do anything. They had literally planned it. They had planned to kill the both of us and " he stutters. Becoming a little frustrated.
Everyone's looking at him. Making him upset. He glances at Nat who looks like he's trying to stop himself from crying. He's almost made Nat cry and it angers him. So he quickly stands up. " I'm going to the bathroom " he says quickly before leaving the room. He then quickly heads towards the one quiet corner near the office.
He can tell that someone's following him. " Why can't I be left alone right now " he says to the person. " Because I know that no matter how much you say you want to be alone it's not the truth NuNew " he hears Dr.Bun say as they both reach the corner. He sits down in the chair he would always sit down in. Anytime that he needed space from people. Dr.Bun would always be the doctor that sits with him here. It was always him and Dr.Bun. No one else.
" This doesn't look like the bathroom NuNew " Dr.Bun says as he sits down next to him. " Well you know me, never saying the truth for where I go " he says frustrated. His emotions keep switching between anxiousness and frustration. " This reminds me of your stay at the hospital. We would talk here about a lot of things. Both good and bad " Dr.Bun said. Making him remember the past.
Dr.Bun was the person he found the most comfort in during his stay at the hospital. When he would get upset and rush off, Dr.Bun would always be the one to come find him and work through the issue with him. " What's going through your head this time kid " Dr.Bun asked.
They fall into a silence for a little bit before he says " There's this constant thought in the back of my head. It's constantly saying the beach incident is my fault. After the trail it's gotten worse. And to know that Nat has PTSD so similar to mine. It's horrible. It makes me feel like shit Dr.Bun. Have you seen the video of the beach incident ". He looks over at Dr.Bun. " I've seen all the videos as well as the trial " Dr.Bun says.
" When Nat first told me how he thinks he has ptsd he talked about how I reacted. I was so panicked that day. I tried to run to my other friends with him but Tyler had grabbed him. And when I got held still I just did the first thing my mind thought of. They were hurting him and I was willing to do anything for them to stop hurting him. I tried begging them to kill me instead of hurting him. I tried calling him names to get him angry at me. They just kept hurting him. Nat says that me asking them to kill me instead effected him a lot " he says, holding back tears.
" No one can predict how someone will react after being in a situation NuNew. To Nat he probably associates hearing his desperate you were at that moment with the pain that those 4 caused the both of you " Dr.Bun says. " But why do I feel so guilty. The main feeling I have since the beach incident is just this huge sense of guilt. I had gotten so many amazing friends and the very moment I let my guard down they strike " he says. " NuNew there's no way you could have ever predicted them hurting you or your friends. None of it is your fault. NuNew you should try to focus on how you were able to meet your friend's. That's a huge accomplishment for you NuNew " Dr.Bun says.
He starts to cry as he asks " How is making friends a huge accomplishment. People think of it as an easy thing ". Dr.Bun picks up a box of tissues from a table near by and hands them to him. " For someone who hasn't experienced what you went through, it would be an easy task. However you went so long without having anyone to talk to. When you first came here you didn't want to have anyone help you or to simple talk with you like a friend. You were so scared that Nate and the others would hurt the people you care about most " Dr.Bun says.
He interrupts him and says " They did hurt some of the people I care about most ". He watches as Dr.Bun sets his clipboard down. " NuNew you were able to make a friends. Not just one. You made 7 friends at your new school. And in a short time. While you were at the hospital it took me forever to become close with you so that we can talk together. You have done your best at trying to overcome this situation. If your friends. If Nat blamed you then they would have stayed your friends. They truly care for you NuNew. When You were talking in the office about Nat having PTSD, he was worried about you. Not worried about himself " Dr.Bun said.
He starts to cry even more. " I want to be strong for them and not blame myself. I want to be strong for Nat so I can help him like he helped me. But I don't think I can. All of them have helped me so much in their own way and I want to repay them but I can't. I don't know how. Every time I feel like I'm getting better. Something sets me back. And then my emotions change so quickly that I can't control them. I don't know what to do anymore " he says.
" How have they helped you NuNew? List the reasons off and it will help you realize why they helped you and why you don't need to do anything to return the favor " Dr.Bun says. So he listens to him.
" At the beach P'Tommy knew exactly what to do when I was to panicked to recognize anyone. He always pays close attention to me and can tell how to handle me being panicked. P'Jimmy was the first one to really feel like a brother to me. He would always check up on me and ask how I'm doing. Making sure that I'm always ok. P'James always takes videos and photos of me having fun. He said he does it so he can remind me that I'm healing. That things are getting better. P'Net always makes me laugh and teases me to help me stop feeling down. He always knows how to lighten the mood. When he notices that I need advice he comes to me and we talk privately. He always gives me good advice. P'Max is someone who has helped me a lot. When no one could get me to show my scars because I was so terrified to, he was able to. Even though he was scared to show his own scar he did it so I could show mine. He looked at me and smiled at me. Like he was silently encouraging me that I could do it. When I had a bad nightmare he gave me advice. When I was sick he didn't hesitate to carry me to the nurses office. Nat was the first friend I had made in forever. The first person my age to show me kindness. He was so quick at being nice to me. He was so happy to meet me and I was able to become friends with him so quickly. Even though I was really shy and nervous he didn't mind. He helped me become more outgoing. He introduced me to everyone and invited me to join their friend group. He made me feel like someone wanted me to be there friend. That someone wants to actually hang out with me. He's the first person to make me think that I am worthy of having friends. He showed me what a true friend is. Hia Zee helped me feel safe from the very moment I met him. Although he seemed a little scary he gave off this protective feeling to him. He got everyone to stop staring at me when I felt like I was going to panic. He followed me to the bathroom while I was having a really bad ptsd episode. I had trouble recognizing the last from the present yet he was patient and helped me. He was the first person other than my parents to show me love. Everyday he gives me a constant reminder that he loves me and that I'm worthy of being loved. He helped me realize that loving someone of the same gender is ok. That someone other my parents does love me " he says.
Going through his friends and listing how they helped him has made him feel better. It makes him start to think. " They care about me. That's why. They don't want me to return a favor. It's because I'm their friend and they care about my happiness " he quietly says as he turns to look at Dr.Bun who smiles at him, nodding his head.
" NuNew " he hears someone shout his name. So he stands up and walks to the hallway to see Nat looking around frantically. " Nat " he calls out. He watches as Nat quickly turns to him before rushing over to him crying. Once he reaches him, Nat immediately pulls him into a tight hug. " I didn't know that how you thought about me. I'm so glad that I can help you as much as I did " Nat says. Making him confused. " How did you hear " he asked as Nat pulls away from the hug.

Word Count: 2598