Virgin Mary

19/You're drunk.

Josephine

We just sat there on the bed for the next 10 minutes. He's just been apologizing and telling me what happened and how he lied to me because he knew I wouldn't of let him do anything if he had touched someone else...which I told him that was right. He then said how he wanted to do it so bad that he had to lie, still not sure how I feel about it but it happened and nothing I or we can do about it now.

It's only seven and there is still so much time left. I don't know if he wants me downstairs, I wouldn't mind going down there because I don't mind some of the people I've met here. I've met Delilah, Alex, Derek and TJ. They've all been nothing but so nice to me, which is weird because with the stories I've read everyone well most of the people at frat parties or parties are assholes.

"So yeah, I'm sorry." he says adjusting himself as he's laying on the bed leaning on his elbows behind him talking to me as I'm sitting Criss crossed in front of him playing with the string on his bed cover. I just laugh and shake my head looking at my hands. "I know you are."

He then leans up against the headboard and grabs my hands and pulls me to where I'm straddling him and I gasp. "Are we gonna go downstairs?" I ask placing my hands on his chest.

"Do you want to go downstairs?" he asks raising his eyebrow.

"I don't see why not, grab a drink or two." I say and he just breaths and looks at my jeans and then back up to me. "I'm trying to not drink." he says and I just nod and look confused, trying not to drink? "Doesn't every high school or college boy drink?" I ask and he pins his lips together and shakes his head. "I'm not included in that." he says.

"Why are you trying not to drink?" I ask, hoping he doesn't get mad at me for asking.

"When I'm angry I drink, overly drink." he says and breaths. "I drown myself in alcohol, it's not good but it helps." he says.

"Sorry I played beer pong with all those drinks, especially since they were using alcohol." I sigh and places his hands on my waist and just caresses my waist on each side. "I didn't drink anything yesterday but when I saw you showed up here and were acting like that I almost grabbed one." he laughs.

"Hero, that's not a good thing. I'm sorry." I say.

"It's not a big deal, I didn't get a drink so it doesn't matter. Just it's a way of coping and I don't want to drink at parties because I'm afraid I'll drink more than I'm supposed too." he says and I bite my lip and nod. I feel terrible, but I just wanted to talk to him yesterday and he almost grabbed a drink because of me. I've never witnessed him drunk, and I hope I don't.

"Do you want to go downstairs, though?" he asks and I just look at him and laugh. "What?" he smiles.

"As long as you don't disappear on me and go with some other girl." I say and he laughs lifting me up off of him and he gets up, "I promise. The music is blasting so their all more than likely dancing, drinking and talking." he says and I get off the bed and look in the mirror and adjust my wavy blonde hair and smile and he's behind me in the mirror adjusting his hair copying me. I just look at us in the mirror, how much taller he is than me and how different we are from another.

Why am I here with him again?

It's like there is something between us, I feel it. How would it be if I was going to ever date him though? I mean I'm cheating on my boyfriend with him, I feel terrible but I keep coming back. This has been going on for about about three months, it's October now about to be November so who knows what is going to happen the rest of the school year.

"Let's go?" he says and I stop staring at him and nod as we walk out his door and down the stairs.

He was right, music is blasting and everyone is drinking, dancing and talking.