L.O.V. Shit (+ Hawks) Crackfics

Trip to Midnight's Orgy

"Like, what the fuck happened to us, you know?" Dabi asked, raising his arms. "We've been so lazy."

They were all in the back room at the base, watching the telly or on their phones. Hawks was practically taking up the whole couch by lying down with his wings fanned out. Dabi was on one end, letting the hero rest his head on his thighs quite comfortably 😏, while Toga was perched on the other end at his feet, trying to take a few pretty feathers. However, the wings fluttered everytime she pulled at one and the feather slipped from her grasp.

"Is that a problem?" Shigaraki said, eyes fixed on the screen as he pressed buttons and toggled joysticks on his controller like a pro. He was intent on defeating this last boss, simultaneously ignoring Twice's occasional cheers at his side. It was slowly getting on his nerves.  "We've got nothing to do anyway. Nobody's invited us anywhere."

"Yeah, I may have just fixed that," Hawks said, smirking as he typed on his phone. He yelled as Dabi unexpectedly yanked the phone from his hands and squinted at the screen.

"What the fuck?"

"What is it?" Shigaraki asked, pausing the game and turning around.

"That hero Midnight has invited Hawks out to an orgy at one of her posh private penthouses, and said to 'bring friends'," Dabi announced.

Everyone looked at Hawks.

"...What? You're my friends, aren't you?"

Dabi raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, but I don't think we're the type of friends she would want."

"It's probably a bad idea. All the more to go! Let's do it!" Twice went from shaking his head to punching the air, and Hawks laughed.

"See? We should go out, have some fun. It'd be interesting watching you guys interact with people that aren't villans. And nobody will care that you are, I bet you a ton of random dodgy people sneak in everytime heroes do them, and no-one notices. Jin's other personality is right for once."

Twice's eyes widened. "What?! Hell yeah! Wait- no! We shouldn't go. What? Yes we should! But someone's gonna know! No they won't. Shut up! You shut up!"

As Twice argued with himself, everyone discussed the matter. Where it is, and who exactly would be expected to be there so they had an idea of which heroes to avoid. Toga asked if there'd be cute girls and guys and Hawks nodded enthusiastically, saying how there'd be dancing and all that shit.

Dabi scoffed. "What, like a strip club?"

"Yup, exactly like a strip club."

Dabi stared at him.

"Right. I'm down. Let's go."

Shigaraki looked at him. "The fuck? Just like that?"

"Hey, women have nice asses."

"And I don't?" Hawks butted in, grinning. Dabi rolled his eyes, pinching one of his cheeks. (i'll leave what kind of cheek up to your own imaginations)

"We'll see about that when we get there," he said with a flirty wink. Hawks stuck out his tongue at him, and Shigaraki gagged, feeling like he was gonna vomit at the pair. Toga only squealed in delight.

This was going to be sO mUcH fUn!

-

"No one's gonna now. How would they know? You belong here as much as anyone else does. You know, I wouldn't be surprised if..."

Hawks scanned the large room, watching people dance and drink and vibe. Talking to the bartender at the mini bar, he saw a certain rabbit hero and ran over, instantly forgetting about and abandoning the League.