L.O.V. Shit (+ Hawks) Crackfics

Guys Night

"So, the purpose of this night is to do whatever the fuck we want without the little psycho getting in the way," Shigaraki said, clasping his hands together.

"Yeah, but how are we supposed to do what we want when we've got to be quiet?" Spinner asked, confused.

"I don't know. That's your problem. You either be quiet in here or go out and face her."

The men shuddered at the thought.

"Well okay then, I'm totally up for this," Dabi said, getting up to lie on the small couch in the room. "I can finally listen to music without her trying to stab me in my sleep."

He plugged in his stolen earbuds (stolen from Shiggy who stole em from Compress) and laid down.
Hawks immediately joined him, though Dabi shoved him off, saying something about how only he could ever be the top.

It was only half an hour before Hawks sat up properly in his chair (because i mean he's already sitting on the chair dumbass), unable to rest. He was tired of thinking of lewd scenarios with Dabi, most of them where he was the top, and couldn't be bothered to finish scenario 148, where he and Dabi where doing 69 and-

I don't need to do into details.

Do I?

In summary, he just gave up, not wanting to get a boner here since - ahem - that would be pretty awkward.

(im surprised myself why isn't he already hard i mean 147 other scenarios bro wtf)

Compress sat on a comfy chair with his feet up, trying out magic tricks with his marbles that he never seemed to run out of.

Twice, lying on his stomach like a little kid, was behind Shigaraki, content in not really doing anything - though he would occasionally talk to himself.

Spinner simply sat alone against the wall, throwing a ball like some kind of prisoner.

To be honest he just looked like a total loser.

Shigaraki was on the PS5 (stolen too) playing Minecraft alone, so Hawks decided to play with him. (why does that sound so bad)

"Hey, can I join the game?" the bird asked, grunting a bit as he got down to sit cross legged beside the handyman.

Shigaraki looked him up and down, eyes narrowed.
"You seem worthy. Here, take it." He passed the spare controller to a rather confused Hawks.

They were quiet for a bit, until Shigaraki spoke up.

"Do you like her?"

Hawks glanced at the crusty man's face. "Who?"

"Toga."

Hawks stared at him, then suddenly went bright red.
"Are you mad? She's like, still school age!"

Shigaraki scowled at him. "I meant like her in general. Not romantically, you dirty minded shrimp," he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Which it kind of was. (and yes i like saying shrimp now)
"You could only like emo boy over there anyway," he added, nodding over at Dabi on the couch. Hawks raised his eyebrows in acknowledgement.

"Ah, well, I suppose she is a completely crazy psychotic blood-obsessed murderous person, but she's an okay kid."

"Okay?" Spinner repeated. "She'd seriously kill us if she got the chance. Savage little beast."

"Just don't give her any ideas," Compress said, looking at the little company after catching a marble.
"And if I'm honest," he said, tilting his head slightly, "I don't think she really wants to kill us, it's just a part of her quirk. She can't help wanting a little bit of blood, so there she goes with her knife and her syringe. But since we don't know what's going on in her mind at the moment, if she's thirsty for blood or simply 'gone savage,' as some of you say-" He turned his face to Spinner, who quickly pretended to become interested in something else.
"We immediately think she's just trying to murder us for no reason, so we call her annoying and stay away from her, but honestly, its simply her desire for blood. We're not targets. She'd try her syringe on anyone and anything, and that's a fact."

After Compress's long and logical speech, the rest of the group felt a bit dumb.

"Yeah well, she's still a weird ass bitch," Spinner mumbled, making Compress frown, though the lizard couldn't see it due to the latter's mask.

"Come on, everyone," Hawks said, trying to restore the peace they never really had. "This is supposed to be a guys night, we're not supposed to think about Toga, so why don't we-"

Then his phone rang.

"Oh shit- it's her!"

Dabi woke up suddenly from the piercing ringtone.

"Turn the fucking volume down!" he shout-whispered.

Hawks tried, but accidently turned his phone off and then on again to end the call, but his fingers fumbled and the phone seemed to leap out of his hands.

"Dammit-!"

"Fucking useless hero!" Shigaraki hissed fiercely. (poor hawks lmao)

One by one, hands went up to try and catch the phone, but who ended up with it?

None other than Twice.

The guy looked around at his fellow friends who were shaking their heads, slowly advancing towards him.

"Hey, Jin. Come on. You wouldn't really answer that call, would ya?" Dabi asked carefully.

Hawks started talking, and Twice turned to him with wide, fearful eyes. "Yeah, it was just my mistake. I should have turned my phone off. Now, pass me it back, please."

Jin, who - in his attempt to catch the phone - had stood up by now, turned his gaze to each of the worried faces of the League. Shigaraki was actually hyperventilating on her floor.
Then he looked down at the sacred phone he held in his hands.
The power it held- oh, what things it could do!
It was all in his control, and he had the choice of absolutely crashing the night, or making it be fair by letting Toga - who was forbidden to join them - to come in.

"B-but..."

He stumbled over his words.

He sweated.

He panicked.

He tugged at his mask.

"Jin, don't press that button."

The voice echoed in his ears.

"I...I..."

"Jin, don't."

The clock ticked by.

"I need to-"

"Jin."

Hawks was much to close to him for comfort, and Twice could feel his breath on his neck.
The hero's voice was low and dangerous - it seemed to be threatening him without saying so.

Is it getting hot in here?

The air became thick and Jin found it hard to breathe. He couldn't focus, and fell to his knees, the phone still in his hands.
Still ringing.
Still...calling to him. Quite literally.

He could take it no longer.

"TOGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

And just like that, his cry was answered.

There was a loud crash, and everyone in the room exclaimed and coughed at the dust filling the place.

"I'm here!" announced a singsong voice.

All the men, now on their knees like Jin, looked up to see the absolute queen, Toga, gracefully twirling into the room with a stained knife in hand.

She giggled, her merry voice ringing in everyone's ears. "And I've found youuuuu!"

"Ohhhhhhhhhh shit. We're in for it now," Spinner let everyone know, super helpfully.

Each of the men looked at one other with trepidation in their eyes, and silently, they waited for what was to come.

Their fate was undoubtedly sealed.

___

well that was way more dramatic than it should have been

and it got dark. wow