L.O.V. Shit (+ Hawks) Crackfics

Body Swap

for you horny people who came here for smut-

you were right.

let's do this shiz

also this one has a ton of author comments for some reason
___

Dabi walked into the bar, sitting down on a barstool. He reached over for a random shot-glass that was full and downed it, frowning at the bitterness of it.

"Pfft- more drinking won't do you good. I thought you were a lightweight," a voice said.

The man looked behind him to see Shigaraki approaching, and sitting down on the seat next to him.

He snorted. "Since when have I ever gotten drunk over a few beers?"

Shiggy raised an eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Um, a lot? Don't you remember? Alchohol must have messed your birdbrain up."

"I don't have a birdbrain. And no, I'm the best drinker 'round here. Oi, mom! Gimme a whiskey."

Kurogiri, who was cleaning a glass (like always, I mean, what else does he ever do?) passed him a bottle, speaking in a surprised manner. "Whiskey isn't good first thing in the morning, and I've never heard you call me 'mom' before."

Dabi chugged his bottle, then set it down to answer. "What'd ya mean? I call you mom a ton of the time."

Shigaraki and Kurogiri shared a glance.

"What? And- does anyone think that my voice sounds weird today? It probably is the alcohol but...I don't know. It's just weirdly higher, but not hitched, like when I'm hor-"

Shigaraki stopped him, interrupting quite abruptly. "No, you sound like your usual hero bastard self."

"Shigs, I think your brain has been messed up by alcohol. I'm not a hero."

Shigaraki looked very surprised at that.
"What- you've joined us for real?" he asked.

"Well duh." Dabi pushed his glass to the opposite side of the counter, shooting his boss a confused glance. "I joined ages ago with Toga."

Shigaraki paused, then threw back his head with a laugh. "Hawks, you really are a lightweight, aren't you? You must be hella drunk."

"What? I'm not Hawks. I'm-"

He stopped mid sentence after a glance to the door.
There, stood himself, watching him with a bewildered look.

"I um..." the Dabi at the door laughed suddenly and rubbed his eyes. "I'm still so drunk I'm seeing myself now."

Dabi could only stare. He got off his chair looked the 'fake' Dabi up and down. He was an exact copy.

"Who are you?" he asked.

Door Dabi tilted his head. "What do you mean? It's me, Keigo. Who are you?"

"What? Kei? And- you already know who I am! Fucking idiot, I'm Dabi. And why do you look like me?"

"What the hell, Dabs? Why do you look like me?"

Dabi looked down at himself and shrieked in a rather feminine way.
His neck - smooth skin.
His hands - staple free.
His eyes - no scars.

He ran a hand over his jaw, feeling his chin. Instead, there was...hair. A bit of fluff.

A stubble.

"Something..." he began, speaking slowly. "Something is not right."

Shigaraki, watching all this happen completely and utterly dumbfounded, simply shook his head, unable to believe it, thinking it was some stupid prank.