I Needed You

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"What is it you wanted to tell me?" Mikey asked, plopping down on his brown leather couch, facing me as I sat on his recliner that was off to the side of the room.

"So, you know how I'm living with Taylor now?" I'm not one to beat the stick around the bush, especially with Mikey since he doesn't have a long attention span.

"She just got home from the hospital last week, right?" He clarified as Gray walked into the room with his reheated pizza slices, his german shepherd Skylar practically drooling over the sight of them.

Skylar was a beautiful dog, though she didn't listen very well.  For example, she was not permitted to be on any of the couches in the living room, which is where she was laying right now.

"In the words of Ludacris," Gray pointed to the floor as he approached the dog, "Move, bitch, get out the way,"

Gray was never stern with Skylar, which is most likely why a bag of bricks listens to instructions better than her.  Luckily, she also couldn't understand English well enough to know that he called her such names.  

He had a strong bond with Skylar, as did all of us.  Skylar sat at his feet, eating the small pieces of pizza that Gray was throwing her as he tuned into the conversation.

"So a couple days ago she sat me down, as I am doing to the two of you now," I glanced down at Skylar, who was looking at me while wagging her tail, "Well, the three of you,"

"Taylor told me she has feelings for me, like feeling feelings," I wrung my hands together.

"Didn't you say that's what you wanted? That's why you broke up with Aryia?" Gray's eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me in confusion.

"Yeah, but I have a feeling that she's gotten back into contact with Colby," I shook my head, "She's been going to the traphouse ever since, I can smell it on her,"

"Okay, you fucking dog," Mikey joked, nudging my leg with his foot, "How do you know that's where she's been,"

"Not funny," I said sternly, "And the Traphouse has a very specific smell.  It's like the mixture of black cherry white claws, cologne, and men's deodorant," I recalled the smell of the house from the many times I've been in it, "Plus, she's been happier lately.  All she does is smile, and text someone.  Constantly,"

"Don't you think she would have told you though?" Gray asked, with his mouth half full of food.  "Wait, aren't we talking about the boyfriend that knocked her up and then pushed her off a cliff?"

"That's not how the story goes," I corrected, defending Colby for God only knows what reason, "She fell. He didn't push her, they both said that,"

Mikey looked back and forth between the two of us, thinking deeply about the information, "Why don't you just ask her?" He stated with an obvious tone.

"Because," I sighed, "If she gets angry at me for calling her out, she'll run right back to him.  That's how she is,"

"Why don't you just let her fall on her own?" Gray asked, "If she's going to act dumb and be in denial about what she's doing, let her.  It's her life to fuck up, not ours,"

"I have feelings for her, I can't just let her run back to a guy that broke her heart," I said, clear as day, "I'm not letting them get back together, no matter what.  This will just turn into a never ending cycle and she can't handle it,"

I noticed Mikey staring at me for a lot longer than necessary.  Just as I went to ask him what was on his mind, he spoke up.

"Make her yours, then.  That's all you need to do.  She can't go back if you have her in a relationship, but you have to tell her that," He spoke quietly, but his eyes were full of determination.

"Now you're scaring me, bro," Gray put his hand on his chest, turning his head to face Mikey.

"I don't want to ruin what we have," I said, "I like what's going on between us, what we do without a label.  I'm here if she needs me and if she wants to talk, but I'm not going to force her to open up to me,"

"Why are you talking to us about this again?" Gray asked, his voice rising in pitch the longer he spoke, as what happens when he asks questions.

"I need advice, okay? And besides her, you guys are my only friends who understand what's going on.  Plus you know how she'd react to stuff that even I don't know,"  I had to consider that I really didn't know Taylor that well.  Ever since Aryia introduced me to her at the Traphouse a couple months ago, it's been her physical beauty I was attracted to.

I was jealous of Colby for being able to win her over just like that, while I had to watch and be a supportive friend who wanted nothing more than to comfort her and get her out of the life she was living.

She didn't deserve what Colby and Alex did to her.  Nobody deserves to have your two most important people ruin your life simultaneously.

But at the end of the day it just showed her that I would be there for her no matter what.  At this point there was no way I couldn't be, she was such a big part of my life, practically my whole world.

The last time I spoke to Colby I told him I would treat Taylor better than he ever had, multiplied by the millions.  I didn't lie to him when I told him I would have to be the one to piece her back together, but she seemed to be doing that perfectly fine on her own.

How, is what I don't know.  She was in such a dark hole before the incident, and it was like being away from Colby for just a short time brought her back to who she was before.

I don't understand why she's started hanging out with him again, everyone who knew what their relationship was like knows that nothing good will come from it.

She's falling into a cycle, a bad one.

And I don't know how to get her out.