I Needed You

13

Sam’s pov

Katrina came out of Taylor’s hospital room looking like she was ready to cry.  I rested my hand on her back, guiding her down the hallway where Colby was waiting.

“Are you okay?” I asked her, letting my hand move around to rest across her shoulders.

“Yeah,” She nodded while sniffling, “It’s just so hard to see, you know? She’s been through so much, and for what?” Kat turned to me, causing me to stop walking as she wrapped her arms around my body, talking without looking at me, “For what?” She repeated.

“I know,” I said simply, folding my hands at the base of her back.

“She used to be so lively, so beautiful and I don’t mean her looks.  Now, she’s just a ghost of who she once was, and I don’t understand-” She stopped herself, and I could tell Kat was doing her best not to break down.

It hurt my heart to see her in such a state.  I loved Kat, and to see her so distraught over a friend is so heartwarming and at the same time heartbreaking.

I wish this all would stop.

“Let’s go see Colby. We can’t keep him waiting,” She rubbed her eyes gently, doing her best to keep her makeup from smearing.

She led the way, taking my hand and guiding me down the hallway to where Colby was waiting, most likely pacing or starting up a conversation with the poor receptionist again.

To our surprise, Colby was talking to the officer, Caddel I believe.  At the same time, their eyes landed on us and Caddel patted his back twice, almost like a father would to a son.

“You going in?” I asked him, and Kat looked at him, grabbing his wrist to get his attention.

“I tried something on her,” She warned him, “If she says ‘I love you’ she doesn’t mean it.  It’s what Alex would use as a safe word, or safe phrase if you will,”

“Noted,” The officer nodded for Colby, and Colby was left alone to walk into Taylor’s room, waving me back when I went to follow.

“I want to do this on my own,” He said with a half smile, and I nodded understandingly.

I watched as he walked down the hall Kat and I just left, and it couldn’t have been long before he was walking out, maybe only two or three minutes.

Colby’s head was to the floor, and his feet dragged.  

“Brother?” I asked once he got close enough that I didn’t have to shout too loud.

“Yeah,” He said, confirming that he was okay, but he clearly seemed defeated.  He didn’t even try being positive about what went down in that room.

I opened my arms, assuming that he just needed someone to know that he really wasn’t doing fine like he said seconds ago.  

Colby didn’t even hesitate to bring himself into my arms, and I couldn’t help but feel happy that I could help him, just for a couple seconds.

“She said she hated me.  Alex made her think I was the bad guy,” His voice was quiet, and based on the rasp in his tone I knew that when he was alone he’d cry.  Colby was not one to cry in public just in case fans were around.  

‘Couldn’t have a puffy face for the camera’ he’d always say, though I think this is the closest he’s ever been to legitimately crying.

“I know she doesn’t mean it.  It’s not her, she doesn’t talk like that.  I’ve never seen her do that.  She hasn’t ever yelled at me over something that doesn’t make sense,” He wiped at his face, hiding from reality just for a moment before pulling away from me and looking at Kat.

They seemed to share a long moment of silence, having a conversation with their eyes.

“Taylor has a gentle and loving soul,” Kat reassured quietly, “I know she still loves you.  She’s conflicted, you can see it in her eyes.  And I know you love her,” She added, making Colby’s sad face go away just for a moment before she continued to speak, “But you have to show her that love doesn’t have to be pain.  Show her good love, love she can count on and fall back to.  Supportive love, respectful love.  Kind love, not hate-love.  Not the ‘I love you because” but “i love you for you”.  Don’t give her a reason, give her the world.  

“Let her have her bad days, she’ll let you have yours.  Don’t be afraid to give her everything, she’ll learn to give you what she has left,” Katrina said gracefully, and I could feel my heart swell when she spoke.

Katrina’s voice was beautiful, and she was very angelic when she spoke in such a way.  I try not to give her too much baggage when I know she can’t take it, and she does the same with me.  Unlike Colby and Taylor, we hardly argue over something serious, and if so we talk it out.

We don’t avoid each other, we usually don’t lie unless there’s a good reason like it’s a prank or a surprise.

I want Taylor and Colby to have that kind of love, it might take some time but I know it’ll be worth it.

They need each other, they need to heal each other.

The two of them deserve to die together happy, not alone and sad.

They need to show each other that they are meant to be together.

Because after so many mistakes it’s hard to picture a life where they’ll be happy.

“I know,” Colby shrugged, even though he seemed so careless I could tell he was taking in the words.

He was learning, and though he was doing good he had so much more to be taught.

Maybe one day that won’t have to happen, but Colby is very inexperienced when it comes to safe, healthy relationships being that he hasn’t had many and the ones he hasn’t had don’t normally last long, with the exception of Meghan.

They’ll figure things out. I know it.