I Needed You

12

I must have fallen asleep on the ride back down Cerro Gordo where Alex must have brought me, because I woke up in a bed that was mechanically propped up.  

The room was very similar to the one Alex had me staying in, except it was white and bright instead of dark and gloomy.  I was on a bed instead of a table, I wonder if Alex was alright with that.

To my surprise, I was left alone, in the silence.  I didn’t want to speak anyways, I liked it here.  It was rather comforting.

I noticed my heart monitor was beating slow, much slower than when I was with Alex.  Maybe that was dangerous, maybe I was dying.

I guess I’d find out soon.

I heard a tapping at the door, drawing my attention to it as a Katrina with pink hair walked in the room.  I thought I was crazy, the last time I saw her, her hair was a grown out bleach dyed.

I didn’t know what she’d want, so I stayed quiet.  I didn’t know if she had something to do with Colby, but I wouldn’t mention it.

“How are you feeling?” She asked quietly, her hands folded behind her back as she walked up to the equipment beside the bed, focusing on it instead of me.  I couldn’t read her eyes that way, and if we were in a normal setting I would have asked her why she was avoiding my eyes.

“Shaky,” I lifted my hand to show her I was visibly shaking, a slight twitch running through my hand every minute or so.

“Does it hurt?” She asked, and I realized she was talking about the cigarette burns.

“What do you mean ‘does it hurt’?  Colby had them put on me for punishment, of course they hurt,” I tried not to talk aggressively, but Kat seemed to flinch back anyways.

“I’m sorry.  I don’t think-” Kat paused, seeming to fix one of her earrings before speaking again, “I want to ask you something, okay?”

“What?” I grabbed the sheet laid on my lap out of nervousness, twisting it up in my fingers and balling my hand into a fist.  She rested her hands on mine, gently unclenching my hands and holding them up on top of hers so my palms were facing the ceiling.

“If I were to hurt you,” She asked softly, prodding one of her fake nails into my fingertip, “What would you say?”

“I love you,” I went to tug my hand away, “I love you,”

“Okay,” She set my hands in my lap, stepping away from me, “Hey Taylor?”

“Yes?” I shot my head up, staring at her as she met my eyes for the first time.

“Are you,” Kat paused for a moment before changing what she was going to say, “I’m just so happy you’re okay,”

Even though I was confused, I nodded as if I understood, the smallest of a grin appearing on my face, “Me too,”

She stared at me for a moment longer before walking out of the room.

I sat there, left alone once again. I didn’t know what the point was of her coming to see me, maybe just to visit because we haven’t seen each other in so long.

I let my eyes fall shut as I felt the beginnings of a headache, “oh,” I groaned out, grabbing my forehead with a hand.

I heard the door open once again, and I didn’t even care to look and see who it was.  But I recognized the footsteps.  In a crowd of a million people, I’d be able to pick out those footsteps.

I picked my head up to see Colby standing cautiously at the foot of the bed, off to one side.

I didn’t know what to do.  I knew what he was capable of doing, which explained why I was in this situation I was in.  But Alex never taught me what to do if I saw him.

I could feel and hear my heart on the monitor pick up speed, and it was something Colby noticed too. 

“I-” I didn’t know what to say, “Please don’t hurt me,”

“Taylor,” He sighed, and I hated the sympathy that was crystal clear in his blue eyes, “I’ve never hurt you-”

“YES! YOU HAVE!” I shouted, motioning to my scarred arms and burned and cut up legs, “EXPLAIN THIS! IF YOU DIDN'T”T DO IT THAN WHO DID? Huh? Cause I wouldn’t do it to myself!”

“Was I there?” He asked quietly, not reacting to my loud tone.

“No but-” I cut him off as he went to speak once again, “You told her to do it!”

“Told who?” He kept his voice nonchalant, but I could clearly see the confusion in his voice.  He went around to the side of the bed, like Katrina had been minutes before, “Who did I tell?”

“Alex,” I crossed my arms, “Don’t play stupid, Colby.  I hate you and I hate everything about you.  You tricked me, you told me you loved me and you lied. YOU LIED,” I growled at him.  

“Taylor,” He began as he grabbed one of the chairs up against the wall of the hospital, “Do you remember when we were together?”

“You cheated on me,” I tried ending the conversation, but he didn’t take it.

“You wonder why? Because Alex wanted to hurt you. Hurt you,” My heart began to pick up speed again when he pointed at me, “And when I was the one who ended up hurting you, I cut it off with her. I wanted nothing to do with her and she left me a message on my mirror in your bathroom saying she’d get revenge.  I didn’t know what she meant-”

“You’re wrong. You’re a liar.  You don’t know Alex like I do.  Hell, you don’t know me,” I sighed, feeling like my head was being beaten with a hammer.

“Then let me get to know you.  Let me show you that I had nothing to do with this,” He pointed into his chest, hesitating before reaching for my hand.  I let him take it, not reacting to it at all.  My arm stiffened, and I looked from our hands to his eyes to see him studying me.

“You didn’t take it off,” The smallest of smiles found their way to his face, and I found myself nodding.

My face remained expressionless, my body remained motionless.  My eyes didn’t blink, my lungs didn’t breathe.  

My heart ached, my head pounded, my chest stung from lack of oxygen.  My legs itched from the wrapping and my neck felt exposed as Colby studied it.

“I didn’t take it off,” I agreed with a sigh.  In all honesty I didn’t take it off because I couldn’t, but I didn’t tell him that.  

I was fighting the urge to scream at him and the urge to cry in his arms. But I could trust nobody, because someone was lying. But I didn’t know who.