The Angry Swan ~ Carlisle Cullen x Reader

Ch.23 ~ The Trouble Begins

Y/n's POV

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Dear Sarah,

It's been a week since the Cullens left town, things haven't been so great. Since he left I... it's hard to explain but I feel as if I'm lost without them, ya know? I feel empty, numb, just a shell of the person I was wandering about in a world I was once familiar with.

I stopped taking my meds when he left. They just weren't helping. I feel so angry all the time, so frustrated that I just wanna get on my bike and drive away and never stop.

What am I supposed to do Sarah? Why do I always lose the people I care about? What gave them the right to walk into my life and act like they care about me only to leave? What gave him the right to make me care for him?

Ha you should see the kids in school the way they stare at Bella and I the way they act it's as if they'd standing on a tightrope and one wrong move could tip them over. I suppose news travels quickly in this small town. I hate how they treat us always so careful not to say or do anything to upset Bella and I.

Bella hasn't been handling things well refusing to leave her room now even for school. Should have seen her Friday as dad try to pry her from her room. She just limply let him drag her out into the landing before he gave up leaving her to lie there staring at the ceiling. She didn't event speak.

That said I know it's only been a week but I feel like he's still here like if I turn around he'll be there. Sometimes I'll lay in bed and roll over to speak to him only to realise he's gone. I've even been back to the part of the woods he took me to when he left hoping and praying to feel his presence.

I visited their house yesterday. All the furniture is covered in white sheets, painting and art works taken down. A ghost house.

Leah and Seth have been checking in daily making sure I'm okay. It's nice that they travel everyday from The reservation to come see me though I wish they wouldn't.

I think I need to let loose a little now that Carlisles not here making sure I'm taking my meds. Maybe it's a good idea to get back to my old antics and let off some steam, maybe break a bone or two or pull a prank on the school.

Whatever I decide it'll be worth it even if it is just to mask the pain and sadness I'm feeling. I've already lost the Cullens and Bella's in some deep depression. What more do I have to lose?

~ Y/n

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I folded up the letter addressed to Sarah sealing it in an envelope then putting it away among the other unsent letters. I closed the drawer, I kept the box in, a dull look on my face as I stood up and walked into the bathroom.

I looked into the mirror and scowled upon my reflection. I looked horrible but I wasn't just scowling at my reflection. I was angry and it was boiling fast.

I couldn't help but blame myself for allowing myself to get caught up and ditched by some stupid vampire. Before I realised it I was pulling my arm back and plunging it forwards into the mirror cracking it.

I pulled my hand away, resting it in the sink. My knuckles were bleeding with a few small shards of glass in it. Using my other hand I flicked on the cold tap and shoved my bloodied knuckle under it. I sighed as I ran my thumb over the knuckle to wash it.

Once done I looked up at the cracked mirror, my eyes widening and a gasp leaving my lips as behind me in the doorway to my bathroom I could see the reflection of Carlisle looking at me sadly. I spun around but he wasn't there.