Ever think nobody can relate to your situation? This is my story, and how i thought this so often that i have resulted to writing this. Truths, thoughts, experiences i have, all laid bare and raw. This is A Diary . THIS IS NOT FICTION.
Big things happening people! so yesterday turned out to be more eventful than i had predicted. after writing my entry here i proceeded to spend another hour doing absolute nothing. then i slept because i was already done with the day and why wouldn't it be completely normal to sleep in bright daylight. IM A VAMPIREE! You guys should definitely see dark shadows starring Johnny Depp if you havent already. its great. speaking of? where do you stand on the Deep-Heard case? im team Depp obviously but i never want to blindly hate in such a situation anyone without properly knowing both sides of the story, in this case amber heard. even now there is yet alot to unfold and opinions change in a heart beat, so we'll see how it goes.
wow major side track. yea we were talking about yesterday being eventful. so yea, i wake up a few hours later around 4:30pm and its raining again. so thats great, i jump out of bed and go out for a walk. mother and little brother decide to join in. we go to the nearby garden, theres other kids there and so my little brother enjoys. i get some ice cream and have fun on the swings. it was so windy and cold, best day ever. but thats not all folks.
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the second i woke up from that nap i knew i wanted change. and what better to change than your hair? so on that impulse decision, around 7pm we head on over to the salon and i get a new hairstyle with curtain bangs. i wanted proper bangs but i was told would regret that decision. so now i have shaggy curtain bangs and step cut hair. im very happy with the outcome. after that played- sorry i meant, i beat mom at checkers a few times , finally watched uncharted (really good movie btw) and called it a day.
oh wait it totally forgot! i finally sent my submission to the publishing house. ok more context is needed, i know. I have been writing poetry since 5th grade when i was first asked to do it for an assignment. it was ironically about my mom. the next one was of my dad cuz i didnt wanna piss anyone off. and that's how i started with it. grade 6 was an explosion of poems due to all the drama as you know. now enter grade 8 and my friends shows me a a poetry book that her friend self published and i was like wtf dont i do that? so in august of 2020 i had done all my research nd finally sent out my collection of poems to about 10 or so publications. i got accepted at 3-4 woo hoo horray right? Nope.
turns out they were all vanity presses. for those of you who dont know vanity presses bascially ask you for you money to print and market your shit, and then pay you back if and when your book sells. plus 10-30% ( percentage depends on the press) of the income that comes after they've paid you back. now this was during the time that my family's financial situation was at peak shit town. so we obviously had to say no to all of them. the rest i didnt get a reply back. so i got demotivated for quite a while and quit trying. now after 2 years i was looking for ways to make some money to save and stuff for future and i thought to take part in online contests of art and writing. and low and behold i found it! a publishing press that was traditional aka didnt ask for an advance and gave you 30% of the income! im not gonna go too much into detail but yea thats the jist of it. the deadline was today and i submitted yesterday. now i got an email telling me ill get a response within the next week so fingers crossed!
now this morning nothing interesting has happened as of yet, except a troubling dream/ nightmare im just dying to share. im not going to go full into detail for this one as it was a bit strange and way to chaotic to put into text so im gonna tell you about the weirdest and most questioning part of it all. so im in this suburban looking area covered in snow, infront of a house. it is night time and theres a few people out and about for walks or something i guess? but suddenly a friend's mother comes up to me, guess she was passing by and recognized me? and she starts asking me about how i am and the wellbeing of my family. now were talking and she asks me about my siblings and i correct her that i have only 1. but as im telling her that, i suddenly remember that i have 3? that i also have two 2 brothers who are twins. and she asks me what age they are. i have a picture of 2 twin boys wearing matching blue and white outfits together and they're sitting on a bed. so i know they're 1+ but im wondering are they 2 ? 3? do they know how to talk? have they said their first words yet?
then for some reason i dash into my house and go to a room where i find them on the bed just as i pictured and my mother near the closet or something. now directly adjacent to the bed on the other wall is a mirror table. so i ask my mother about the twins, i have no idea what the questions were. and my mother asks me "what twins?" i point to them and she looks at me like im crazy, so i ask "dont you see them?" she gives me yet another dubious expression and turns back to her task. i then look at the mirror and notice that the twins arent reflected in it. i look back at them and now realize they they are awfully pale, whiter than paper.
And i realize they're ghosts. They had died when they were just 1-3 years old. And i wake up.
