Seeing how much entries i posted the first week of making this diary and how inconsistent ive become now should give you an idea of why my last dairy lasted for 2 years despite being A5 in size.
So a lot yet nothing much has happened since my last entry. Cutting off emotionally from my father has, despite how soul raking and depriving it felt, has worked and i no longer feel upset or happy when i talk to him. i knew this day would eventually come, i just didn't know it would be so soon. we still talk, short sentences and abrupt stuff but its visibly different. you can feel the stiffness from me now. no more smiles, laughter, excitement or happiness. It has been a devastating process, my reasons have been tested and i have broken once or twice in my intention of severing my relationship with my father but i have persevered. All while telling myself. The hardest sacrifices are ones that need to be made... but, my heart has been some what heavier than the lightness i expected to be more of. but that is a Side effect that is sure to pass. i no longer fear of disappointing him or getting hurt by him with the false accusations or invalid comparisons . it is all void now. i have done the impossible, now i will rest free of baseless fears.
contrastingly, i have fortified my relationship with my brother. after some of the nasty fights he had with my father in the past week i have been his sole counselor and open arms he has willingly come to. i have told him of my intention of letting him live with me once i leave this wretched place and he has found some comfort and hope in the idea. The day cannot seem to come soon enough. but i will continue. i have more of a reason to now.
i have also been focusing on my art. i have been watching the yt Drawing Wiff Waffles and her unique style has appealed to me. she described a 100 heads in 10 days drawing challenge and i though gee, thats a great idea. ofc the props go to the original creator of the challenge ahmed aldoori. who also has a yt channel. so i have so far made 14 faces and it is the 3 day and im behind on 16 faces. AAAAAA. hey its hard ok. but so far im pretty satisfied with my word iv never actually made varied faces of races, ages, genders or even face types. i usually stick to aesthetically beautifully looking females. but boy was it a blast to expand that. and turns out im not too shabby making old people.
other than that i have been writing. well... technically. i havent been writing per say, i have been world building. i have a new idea for a fantasy book actually i have a few. so i wanted to plan it out this time and not have it be cliche that i just start wrtiing to figure stuff along the way like i did with a fanfiction which i have posted here under a penname. so i tooka long asss piece of card board, stuck it to my wall and used it as a corkboard. what was that saying about neccity being the mother of invention? anywho, so now its littered with a sketch of my mc, her entire profile, the story outline, a handmade map of this fantasy world, 2 of the other secondary mc's and questions that still need to be answered. most of it ive figured out but theres still stuff left which im not sure if i should just start writing now and figure out as i go or if i should solidify it all out then write. so its a bit of a mix at this point.
Noww, for the big news you've all be waiting for. Remember that poetry submission i sent out? it got accepted. my poetry works along with other poets are all compiled into a book! which is coming out sooner than a blink! i am more than crazy about the fact that this is happening. but ive gotten over it since i found out at the start of the month and have had plenty of time to mull over the fact that i am going to be a published author/poet? i think poet is more fitting. so yea.
this former action started a chair of events that caused me to revive old and dusty thing i hadnt looked at for the longest time. my twitter account for example. which leads me to the next big news. but a bit of backstory first. so i created my twitter account on my birthday last year as a gift to myself, since i knew my parents would be like huh? if i aasked them. so yea. i did a few writers lifts and overnight i went from a sloppy 22 followers to a wopping 100 now i know thatss not a big deal but it is for me ok so shut up. that was last sunday. today i have done one once again and i am now at 140. not to bad eh?
YOU ARE READING
Life Of "A"
Kurgu OlmayanEver think nobody can relate to your situation? This is my story, and how i thought this so often that i have resulted to writing this. Truths, thoughts, experiences i have, all laid bare and raw. This is A Diary . THIS IS NOT FICTION.
