It's because I.. || Tsukishima Kei fanfic

18

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"I got here as fast as I could!" Yamaguchi pants outside Tsukishima's door as the blonde rolls his eyes.

"You're too excited about this, it's weird," he says and Yamaguchi perks up.

"This is the first time you've ever mentioned a girl-" Yamaguchi is cut off as Tsukishima hastily covers his mouth.

"Shut up would you, just come in and don't be loud," he says, taking off his hand and walking to his room as Yamaguchi follows excited. One inside the safety of his room, Yamaguchi jumps onto his bed as Tsukishima closes the door, taking a seat at his desk with his back to his friend.

"Well... tell me about her!" He says happily. Tsukishima spins a pen around his fingers, biting his lip as he contemplates this situation. Yamaguchi waits patiently, assuming that this isn't gonna be a very easy conversation for Tsukishima, based on his general disgust with love and dating.

"I don't know," Tsukishima finally says, making his friend deadpan.

"You can start by telling me her name? If you want of course or we could go with an anonymous situation," still not facing his friend out of pure embarrassment, Tsukishima clears his throat.

"We're going with the anonymous option," he grumbles making Yamaguchi gush at how different his friend is acting all of a sudden.

"Got it! Ok, tell me why you think you have feelings for her?" Tsukishima rubs his neck, resting his head in his palm to try and seem unbothered when in reality, his heart is pounding in his chest.

"No reason in particular... she's... hot?" Yamaguchi stifles his laugh making Tsukishima glare at him before groaning, hiding his face in his palms. "I don't know Yamaguchi ok, I just think I do," he huffs and Yamaguchi clears his throat.

"How do you feel when you're around her?"

"I don't know? Nervous?"

"Ok that's a start... be more descriptive," Tsukishima groans, hating everything about this situation. He never ever talks about his feelings, let alone romantic feelings.

"She... whenever I see her I feel like, I suddenly have energy or something," he says and Yamaguchi tries to hold in his pure shock, covering it with a nod and a stern face. "She's also the first girl I've ever seen that I thought was... pretty."

"Do you think about her when she's not with you?" Tsukishima nods. "Do you always want to talk to her and be around her?" Another nod. "And do you want to do anything just to see her smile?" Silent nod. "If I'm being honest Tsuki, it does seem like you have feelings for her..." The blondes stomach practically twists into a knot of dread.

"That can't be though. I say all these nice things about her but she's also one of the people I despise most. She's so annoying and clueless sometimes that I just want nothing to do with her!"

"Sometimes when we like someone but don't want to admit it, we try and find every single flaw about that person to convince ourselves otherwise," Tsukishima stares blankly at his desk. "It's not a bad thing to have feelings for someone you know? Why are you so against the idea of it?"

"Because I've never had feelings for someone before," he mutters and Yamaguchi tilts his head. "I feel like I'm loosing control over my own emotions, when usually I'm the one who has a complete grip on their feelings."

"It can be scary-"

"I'm not scared!" Yamaguchi clears his throat.

"It can be, strange... but that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. Sometimes if we always understand how we feel 24/7 it doesn't let us feel real emotions since you know what to expect. That's the whole point of falling in love-"