It's because I.. || Tsukishima Kei fanfic

20

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I don't know how long it's been since I last spoke to Tsukishima. Maybe three weeks? Every time he sees me, he turns the other way which kinda made this whole reality real. It took some real sucking up, but I can't help if he doesn't want anything to do with me... I just have to move on.

To distract myself, I've been focusing on training for the regional track competitions which is coming up next week. My logic is if I run, I don't think, and if I don't think then Tsukishima doesn't cross my mind, and if Tsukishima doesn't cross my mind then I don't get upset. So that's what I've been doing, running until I physically can't anymore.

I haven't gone to volleyball at all, instead I stay behind at training and run until the night sky makes it impossible to see. Then I run home, I wake up early to go for a run, and repeat. Arai joined me at first, but then he started spending more time with Suzu which is totally understandable... it's just kinda made me feel that slight bit more lonely without my bestfriend to constantly lean on anymore. It's fine though, I just have to keep distracting myself with track so I can prove my worth!

I finish my tenth lap for the day and collapse onto the floor, barely able to catch my breath.

"Here, so you don't literally die," I hear Arai's voice say and I sit up to see him offering my water to me. He then takes a seat next to me under the stars as I gulp down the water, wiping the sweat off my forehead with my shirt.

"What are you still doing here?" I pant and he shrugs.

"I can ask the same thing for you?" I furrow my eyebrows.

"What does it look like? I'm training," he narrows his eyes at me.

"Don't you want to take a break for a day or something? I mean you're here every day and you stay for house just running-"

"I have to train to win regionals next week. That's the only way I'll get better!" His eyes soften a little as he analyzes my flushed face.

"You've trained enough Shibuki, you need to take a break," I quickly shake my head.

"I'm fine Arai, I need to win so to win I have to train," I say and he sighs.

"Overworking yourself isn't healthy... you could get sick-"

"Arai!" We stare at each other as I shake my head. "I'm ok I promise! I know what I'm doing ok..." I mumble, standing up and grabbing my things as he watches silently. "We should get home, it's late," I say before walking as he quickly catches up to me, not bringing up this subject again.

Nothing changed. I continued to push myself and Arai telling me to give it a break only made me push harder. He doesn't understand why I'm doing this... I'm not smart, I'm not the prettiest, I don't have many friends, my family struggles, and I have no real talents other than running. If I can't be the best at the one thing I'm good at, then I'm truly worth nothing.

The day before regionals, I barely got any sleep. I was up the entire night on a run, only getting home at 3 am and sleeping for 5 hours before getting on the bus to go to regionals. The entire bus ride there, I could feel my eyes closing and Arai noticed but because I got so defensive last time he decided to not say anything about it.

Our regionals went really well, my race was last but we won every single race... qualifying for the next tournament. It then came down to the last race of the day, which was mine.