Beyond the Fence

Behind the Tapestry

She had left the patio door open after she walked out. I could hear her fumble with the lock on the gate as I slowly and painfully stood. I took a step towards the patio door with every intention of closing and locking it, then returning to my bedroom and sleeping. I wanted to sleep in my pain. I deserved to feel the pain and to dream the bad dreams.

I took another step when she had stepped around the corner of the house, entered the patio door, and locked it after she closed it with a slam.

"Sit down, Lee," she said between clenched teeth, "Sit down, now."

I had never seen her angry before. I swore then, that I would never wish to see her angry again. Her anger, frustration, hurt, pain, and passion had become molten rocks and she was a mighty volcano, ready to spew her lava.

Obediently, I slowly sat down as she watched me with arms folded across her chest. I felt like I was in deep trouble and I didn't like the feeling at all. However, I did feel like a pinprick of bright light had penetrated the dark place I had allowed myself to enter. The radiant light of love, emanating from a partner, a lover, and the woman I loved.

"Other than nodding or shaking your head when I ask you a question," she began, "you are not to answer me or interrupt me in any way. I locked the gate too so I will not be interrupted. Do you understand?"

Once again, showing that I can be obedient, I did as she instructed and nodded my head, yes.

"Good," she said before she stared at me in silence for a solid three minutes.

"How dare you," she continued, "How dare you try to make our relationship all about you. How dare you try to keep me from hurting by telling me to leave and find someone else. How dare you think that the ultimate show of love would be to let me go. How dare you let that horrible man that took your wife and my dad away from us win again."

I sat quietly, tears falling from my face, obediently silent, and feeling life return to me.

"You have shown me that you love me, Lee," she continued, "You show me with how you look at me. You show me with how you treat me, hold me, listen to me, encourage me, correct me, and excite me."

She pulled a chair next to me and sat down. She wiped my tears with her hands and then rested her elbows on her knees as she looked into my eyes.

"I love you, Lee," she said with a thick voice, "I love you because you first loved me. I saw that love before we became physical and I loved you when I first met you in the driveway. It truly was love at first sight. I had no idea we had a connection. A horrible and traumatic connection, but I was drawn to you and loved you after we spoke our first words."

She leaned forward even farther and kissed me on the cheek, then licked my tears from her lips.

"We will not let that man win again," she said, "He will not take you away from me and I will not let him take me away from you. The stories you have written and shared with me have allowed me the chance to see unspoken passions of yours. I cannot tell you how much I wish I had a room with a locked door, hidden behind a tapestry. A room for us to go to, hide from life, and love one another with no boundaries or reservations. I cannot express to you the excitement it would give me to know that just by looking through your window and into mine you become excited and aroused. The thought of me teasing you, playing for you, and then with you deepens my feeling of love for you. Not because we have lost someone we love, but because we have found love with each other."

She leaned back into her chair, sighed, and wiped the tears that began to roll down her cheeks.

"Are you listening to me, Lee," she asked, "Do you understand what I am saying so far?"

Once again, I nodded my head up and down. Affirming that I heard and understood her declaration.

"You have a fence around your yard," she said softly, "You have allowed me into your fence. I can enter through your fence and enjoy everything you offer freely and without reserve. Lee, you have finally gone beyond your fence. The fence you have been hiding behind. Your fence had turned into a wall and you have stepped beyond it and given me a key to the gate. You have respected me, my body, and my wishes in keeping my gate locked. I love you for that too. You are not like the other guys I have heard about."

She stood up, leaned over, cupped my face in her hands, gently kissed my lips, and sighed.

"I am getting ready to go over to mom's house," she said, "but, I am going to tell you a few more things before I go."

She pushed in her chair, then kneeled in front of me, holding my hands as they rested on my knees.

"I want you to be the one to enter my fence, Lee," she said softly, "I want to give you the permission to enter me. I want you to be the one that causes me that few moments of pain, knowing it will be with the knowledge that after the pain, you will give me pure pleasure. That is the pain I want to receive from you, Lee. Not the pain of a broken heart. I want to see your face when you enter me. I want to open my legs for you, wide, and far. I want to feel the weight of you on top of me as we make love. I want to feel you cum inside of me. I want that connection with you. Only you. Come out of the dark place, Lee. I know you are there. Come out of there and enjoy life with me."

She stood and released my hands.

"I am going to go now," she said firmly, as she opened the patio door and looked back at me, "You have a decision to make, Lee. This is not an ultimatum, it is a decision. This is no longer a time of head nodding or head shaking. I need to hear the words from you. I need to hear the words that will either bring me back over here or the words that will keep me on the other side of the fence."